St. Patrick's Day . . . The Day When
Everybody is Irish
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Potato Soup
1kg
potatoes 3 onions 6 cups of half milk and
water Chives or parsley Rashers (streaky) Bacon,
to taste Salt and pepper, to taste 1 cup light
cream.
Directions: Chop all above
into chunks, except milk and cream. Put chunks and milk
into a large pot, cover and simmer gently until it goes
to a pulp. Put pulp in a blender and puree, add cream.
Reheat; place parsley or chives on top. Fried crispy
bacon is added to the top on serving.
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Irish Potato
Soup
2 pounds
butter-yellow potatoes, peeled and quartered 1 large
onion, chopped 2 oz butter 2 pints vegetable
stock 2 pints milk 1 Tablespoon chives or
parsley nutmeg pinch of salt 1 teaspoon
flour
Directions: Melt butter in a
sausepan and add the Potatoes and Onions, cover and
simmer for 10 mins (don't brown veg). Add the Stock,
Salt & Pepper and Nutmeg, Stir. Cover and bring to a
boil stirring continuously. Reduce heat and simmer for
30 mins, until vegetables are soft, stiringr
occasionally.
Remove from
heat and put through a sieve, and return to the
saucepan. Stir in the milk and flour and bring to a
boil, stirring continuously.
Remove from the
heat, serve with a sprinkling of chives or
parsley.
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Coddle
A favourite of
mine, my cooking method is the method my Mother used,
the cook book way takes too long and doesn't taste as
good. - Billie Connolly
Ham or bacon
slices as suit you Onions as required Chopped
parsley Potatoes Salt and pepper Pork
sausages
Directions: Cut ham or bacon
into small pieces. Cut potatoes into quarters. Cut
onions into quarters or leave whole. Put all ingredients
into large boiler. Cover with water. Simmer until it
becomes soupy.
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Corned Beef &
Cabbage
If it wouldn't be St. Patrick's Day in
your house without Corned Beef & Cabbage, here's an
authentic recipe from Darina Allen's the Festive Food of
Ireland. Even though she points out that it's
rarely eaten in Ireland and was most likely made popular
by immigrants who missed the salted beef of their
homeland. Cured beef was a traditional Easter Sunday
dinner; the beef killed and preserved before winter
could then be eaten after the long Lenten
fast.
In
the truest sense of the word then, this really doesn't
qualify as a traditional recipe. But, it has become so
closely associated with the Irish and St. Patrick's Day,
we'd be remiss not to include it.
4-pound corned beef brisket - 'silverside' if you
can get it; many butchers are familiar with the term and
can prepare your cut of brisket in this special way.
But, do allow them several days to prepare it
properly. 3 large carrots, cut into large chunks 6
to 8 small onions, roughly chopped 1 teaspoon
powdered English mustard 1 large spring of fresh
thyme and several parsley stalks tied together 1
cabbage Salt and pepper to
taste
Directions: Put the corned beef
into a large pot with the carrots, onions, mustard
powder and herbs.
Cover with cold water; bring to
a boil and then lower heat and simmer for 1 hour. From
time to time, skim fat from top as it
rises.
Discard the outer leaves of the cabbage
and cut into quarters, Add to the pot. * Cook for
another one to two hours or until the meat and
vegetables are tender.
Serve the corned beef cut
into slices and surrounded by the vegetables. Serve with
a generous amount of potatoes, boiled in their jackets
and freshly made mustard.
(We use Colman's which
is readily available). In addition to the English
mustard we also like the following horseradish sauce.
Recipe below.
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Horseradish
Sauce
1/2 pt Whipping Cream 2
tablespoons prepared horseradish
Directions: Whip cream until
it stand in peaks. Fold in horseradish.
Note: We
prefer our cabbage crispy firm, so, we cook it
separately. Cooked quickly in boiling water, it retains
its beautiful bright green color. We season it heavily
with fresh ground pepper and we don't go easy on the
butter!
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Irish Dumpling
Stew
4 medium golden
yellow potatoes 2 pounds stew meat, lamb or
beef 1/2 cup flour 2 onions, chopped 2 carrots,
chopped 2 tomatoes, peeled and chopped 1 clove
garlic, minced 1 large bunch of mixed herbs (thyme,
rosemary, sage), tied with a string 1 1/2 cups beef
broth salt & pepper to taste
Coat meat in flour, then
brown in oil in a skillet. Add onions and garlic and
saute. Place browned meat, onions and vegetables in
large cooking pot. Place herbs in middle of mixture.
Cover with broth, cook 2 hours over low heat. While stew
is cooking, make dumplings. During last 20 minutes of
cooking, add dumplings. Salt and pepper to
taste.
Dumplings
6 cups self-rising
flour 1 cup fresh bread crumbs 1 tablespoon mixed
herbs 1/4 cup solid shortening 1 egg,
beaten Broth or water Salt and pepper to
taste
Directions: Mix dry
ingredients, then add shortening and egg, mixing
thoroughly. Divide mixture into small pieces, roll into
even rounds between floured hands. Cook in boiling water
or broth for 15 minutes. Add to stew 20 minutes before
stew is done.
Serves
6
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Irish
Roast Pork with Potato Stuffing
2 pounds pork tenderloin,
or 6 to 8 boneless lean pork chops 2 tablespoons
butter 2 tablespoons hard cider (apple wine) or
water stuffing (see below) salt and
pepper
Directions: Make stuffing.
Rub meat with salt, pepper and butter. Pour cider or
water into 3 -quart casserole dish. Place meat along
edges of dish. Place stuffing in center of pan. Cover
loosely with foil and bake 1 hour at 350
degrees.
Stuffing
4 1/2 cups MountainKing® Gold Potatoes or
MountainKing Butter Red Potatoes, coarsely mashed 1/4
cup butter 1 onion 2 large cooking apples,
chopped 1 handful chopped fresh sage and thyme
Salt and pepper
Directions: To potatoes,
add butter, onion, apples, herbs, salt and pepper.
Mix well.
Serves 6
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Irish Cabbage
Rolls
1 lb lean ground
beef 1/2 head of cabbage, shredded 1 medium
onion, chopped 1 envelope onion soup mix 1/8
teaspoon pepper 2 loaves frozen bread dough,
thawed
Directions: Brown
ground beef and onion in a large skillet: Drain off fat.
Add cabbage, soup mix and pepper during the last five
minutes of cooking. Set aside.
Roll one loaf of
bread dough into an 8" x 16" rectangle, then cut into
eight 4-inch squares. Spoon mixture into center of each
square, bring up diagonal points, pinching edges closed.
Let cabbage rolls rise on a greased cookie sheet for
about 10 minutes.
Preheat the oven to 350
degrees F. Bake for 20 minutes or until brown. Brush
tops of warm rolls with margarine or butter if desired.
Repeat process with second loaf of bread and
remaining mixture. This can be frozen and reheated 1 1/2
minutes in a microwave oven.
Makes 16
servings.
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Irish Beef in
Guiness
4 russet, red
or butter yellow potatoes 2 1/2 lb beef stew meat
2 large onions 6 medium carrots 2 tbsp
seasoned flour 1 tablespoon bacon fat or beef
dripping 1 cup of Guiness and water mixed sprig
of parsley
Directions: Cut the beef into
chunks and peel and slice the onions and carrots.
Toss the beef in the flour and brown quickly in hot fat.
Remove the beef and fry the onions gently until
transparent.
Return the beef
and add the carrots, potatoes and liquid. Bring just to
a boil, reduce the heat to a very gentle simmer, cover
and cook for 1 1/2 - 2 hours.
Check that the
dish does not dry out, adding more liquid if
necessary.
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Cabbage Cooked in
Milk
1 quart shredded
cabbage 1 1/2 cups milk 2 tablespoons flour
1 tablespoon cooking oil 1/4 teaspoon salt
dash of pepper
Directions: Add
cabbage to milk and simmer for two minutes. Mix the
flour and oil and add a little of the hot milk to it.
Blend. Stir the milk and flour mixture into the cabbage
and cook for three or four minutes or until thickened,
stirring constantly. Season with salt and pepper. Makes
six servings.
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Irish
Colcannon
6
medium-large golden
yellow potatoes, peeled
and quartered 4 cups diced savoy cabbage (green
cabbage can be substituted) 1 onion, finely chopped
or 2 leeks chopped, whites only 1 cup warm
milk 1/4 cup butter salt and pepper to
taste
Directions: Boil potatoes until tender when pierced
with a fork—about 20 minutes. Meanwhile, steam cabbage
and leeks for 5 minutes. Mash potatoes, add milk,
butter, cabbage, leeks, salt and pepper to taste. Serve
immediately.
Serve colcannon hot as a side dish.
Serves 6
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Irish
Champ
4 pounds quartered golden
yellow potatoes 1 cup chopped scallions 1 cup
milk 3/4 cup shredded cheddar cheese 1 stick
butter, melted pepper to taste
Champ is served piled high
on the dish, with a well of melted butter in the center.
It is eaten with a spoon from the outside, each spoonful
being dipped in the well of melted butter.
Directions: Cook potatoes in
boiling water 10-12 minutes or until tender. Simmer milk
and scallions together for five minutes.
Strain
potatoes and mash thoroughly. Add hot milk, and the
scallions, salt and pepper, and half the butter.
Scoop a heaping portion of potatoes on each
plate. Depress the center making a cavity and drizzle
the remaining butter into the center of each portion.
Serve immediately.
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Barm
Brack
Cream the yeast and the sugar and
allow to froth up in the milk, which should be at blood
heat. Sieve the flour, caster sugar and spice and rub in
the butter. Make a well in the centre and add the yeast
mixture and the egg, beaten. Beat with a wooden spoon
for about 10 minutes until a good dough forms. The fruit
and the salt should be worked in by hand; the gold ring
wrapped in greaseproof paper should then be added, and
the whole kneaded. Put in a warm bowl, cover and allow
to rise in a warm place for about an hour until doubled
in size.
1/4 pt/ 125 ml/ 1/2
cup lukewarm milk 1 tsp sugar 1 tsp fresh
yeast 8 oz/ 250 g/ 2 cups plain flour 1 tsp mixed
spice, pinch salt 1 egg, 3 tbsp butter 6 oz/ 200
g/ 2 cups mixed fruit (currants, sultanas, raisins,
candied peel) 1 gold ring (in greaseproof paper) 2
oz/50 g/2 tbsp caster sugar
Directions: Knead
lightly and place in a lightly-greased 7 in /15 cm
diameter cake tin and allow a further 30 minutes rising
time.
Bake near the top of a pre-heated oven at
gas mark 6, 400°F, 200°C for 45 minutes. On removing from the oven the brack
can be glazed with a syrup made from 2 tsp sugar
dissolved in 3 tsp boiling water.
From the Appletree Press
title: A Little Irish Cookbook
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Spotted
Dog
This is the traditional
Irish fruit bread, also called Sweet Cake, Curnie Cake,
Spotted Dick or Railway Cake depending on the area.
4 C plain white flour 2
teaspoons sugar 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon
baking soda 1/2 C raisins, currants or sultanas 1
1/2 C milk or buttermilk 1 egg (optional, you will
not need all the milk if you use the egg)
Directions: Sift the dry
ingredients, add the fruit and mix well.
Make a well in the center
and add the egg if you are using it, and most of the
milk. Using one hand, mix in the flour from the sides of
the bowl, adding more milk if necessary. The dough
should be softish but not too wet and sticky. When it
all comes together, turn it out onto a floured board and
knead lightly for a few seconds - just long to tidy it
up.
Pat the dough into a round
about 1 1/2 inches deep and cut a deep cross in it (to
let the faeries out!). Let the cuts go over the sides of
the bread.
Bake in a preheated 450
degree F oven for 15 minutes, then turn the oven down to
400 degrees F and bake for another 30 minutes or until
cooked. If you are in doubt, tap the bottom: it will
sound hollow when cooked.
Serve freshly baked, cut
into thick slices and spread with butter.
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Red Cabbage and
Pineapple
6 cups shredded red
cabbage 1 tablespoon lemon juice 1/2 cup boiling
water 1 tablespoon butter or margarine 2
tablespoons brown sugar 1 tablespoon cornstarch
1/2 teaspoon salt 1 (9 oz.) can pineapple
tidbits 2 tablespoons
vinegar
Directions: Place
cabbage, lemon juice and boiling water in skillet. Cover
and cook, stirring once or twice, until cabbage is
tender, 10 to 12 minutes. Stir in butter.
Meanwhile, blend together brown sugar,
cornstarch and salt. Drain juice from pineapple and
blend into cornstarch mixture along with vinegar. Add
cornstarch mixture and pineapple bits to cabbage. Cook,
stirring, until mixture thickens and bubbles. Serve hot.
Makes six servings.
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Cabbage With
Apples
1 head cabbage
1 red apple, cored and sliced 1/2 cup sour cream
1 tablespoon butter or margarine 1/2 teaspoon
salt 3 tablespoons lemon juice
Directions: Cut the
cabbage into six wedges. Cook in a small amount of
boiling salted water for seven minutes. Add apple. Cook
about three minutes more, until tender. Drain.
Combine remaining ingredients. Heat through, but
do not boil. Pour over cabbage. Serve hot.
Serves 6
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Irish
Scones
3 cups
white flour 1/2 teaspoon baking soda 2 teaspoons
cream of tartar 1/2 cup butter, softened 2
tablespoons sugar 1/2 cup milk or buttermilk 1
cup raisins or other dried fruit Egg wash, to brush
scones
Directions: Preheat
oven to 400 degrees. In a large bowl, sift together
flour, baking soda, and cream of tartar.
Add softened butter
and sugar, mix well. Stir in milk or buttermilk. Also
stir in raisins or dried fruit.
Press dough onto a
floured surface and roll out gently to 1/2-inch
thickness. Cut scones into round shapes or triangles.
Brush scones with
egg wash for shine. Bake for 20 minutes or until golden
brown.
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Irish Raisin Cake
Recipe
2 1/2 cups buttermilk 2 cups sugar 5 cups
flour 1/2 pound butter 5 eggs 1 tsp. each:
cinnamon, nutmeg and allspice 2 tsp. baking
soda dash of salt 1 (16-oz. box) brown
raisins 1 (16-oz.) box golden raisins 1/2
cup whiskey,
optional
Directions: Preheat
oven to 325 degrees and grease a Dutch Oven.
Cream sugar and butter in large bowl. Add eggs
one at a time. Add seasonings. Mix baking soda into the
buttermilk. Alternate adding flour, buttermilk and
raisins into mix.
Bake for 2 1/2 to 3 hours in
covered Dutch Oven. Cake is finished when knife inserted
into middle comes out clean.
Optional - pour
whiskey over cake immediately after removing from oven.
Cake is best when cut after a few days.
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Glazed Irish Tea
Cake
Cake: 3/4 cup butter-
room temperature 1 cup Sugar 2 t. pure Vanilla
extract 2 large Eggs 3 ounce Cream cheese- room
temperature 1-3/4 C. Cake flour 1-1/4 t. Baking
powder 1/4 tsp Salt 1 cup Dried currants (or
dates) 2/3 cup Buttermilk
Glaze: 1/2 cup
Confectioners' sugar, sifted 2 t. Fresh lemon
juice
Directions: Preheat oven to
325F, with rack in center of oven. Generously grease a
9-inch (7-cup capacity) loaf pan. Dust with flour; tap
pan over sink to discard excess flour. Cut piece of
parchment paper or waxed paper to fit bottom of pan. Set
aside.
FOR CAKE, use mixer to
cream butter, sugar and vanilla until fluffy. Add eggs,
1 at a time, beating each until fluffy. Add cream
cheese. Mix until well combined. Sift flour, baking
powder and salt together. Put currants (or dates) in
small bowl. Add 1/4 cup of flour mixture to currant and
stir until well coated. Add remaining flour to batter,
alternating with buttermilk. Mix until smooth.
Use wooden spoon to stir
in currants and all of the flour. Stir until well
combined. Transfer batter to prepared pan. Smooth
surface with spatula. Bake until well-browned and
toothpick inserted into center comes out clean, about 1
hour, 25 minutes (time will vary with individual ovens).
Cake will crack on top. Let cake rest in pan for 10
minutes.
Use flexible metal spatula
to separate cake from sides of pan. Carefully remove
cake from pan to cooling rack. Spread glaze on warm
cake. Let cake cool completely. Cake can be stored
3 days at room temperature in foil. Cake can also be
frozen up to 3 months, wrapped airtight.
FOR GLAZE, combine sugar
and lemon juice in small bowl. Stir until
smooth.
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Chocolate Irish
Cream Fondue
9 ounces baker's
semi-sweet baking chocolate 1/4 cup
light cream or heavy cream 1/4 cup
Bailey's Irish Cream
Dippers cake,
cubed banana chunks strawberries,
etc.
Directions: In
saucepan combine all ingredients.
Stir on low heat until the
chocolate has melted& is smoothy.
Serve in a chafing dish
over low heat.
Dip dipper in sauce.
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Irish Potato Apple
Cake
4 Russet, red or butter
yellow potatoes cut into 2-inch pieces 2 tablespoons
butter 1 tablespoon sugar 1/4 teaspoon ground
ginger 3/4 cup all-purpose flour, sifted 4
Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored, and sliced 2
tablespoons butter 1/2 cup firmly packed brown sugar
Directions: Preheat oven to
425°F. Lightly grease an 8-inch pie plate.
Cook the potatoes in
boiling salted water until tender, 12 to 15 minutes.
Drain and mash. Add butter, sugar, and ginger and mix
well. Stir in the flour to make a soft dough.
On a lightly floured
board, form the dough into a ball and divide in half.
Roll half into a 8-inch-diameter circle and fit into the
prepared pie plate. Arrange the apple slices by
overlapping them in 2 concentric circles over the dough.
Moisten the edges with cold water.
Roll out the remaining
dough into an 8-inch circle and place it on top of the
apples. Press the edges together and flute them to make
a standing edge. With a sharp knife, make 4 or 5 slits
on top to allow steam to escape. Bake until crust is
browned, 25 to 30 minutes.
Remove from oven and cut a
2-inch circle in the top pastry to make a lid. Remove
this carefully, add the butter and brown sugar, and
replace the lid. Return to the oven and continue to bake
until the butter and sugar have melted, about 5 minutes.
Slice and serve
immediately, with whipped cream, or a dusting of
confectioners' sugar, if you like.
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Irish Coffee Ice
Cream
2 eggs, 2 cups
skim milk 1 cup brown sugar, 2 teaspoons vanilla
extract 4 tablespoons instant coffee powder, 1/2 cup
Irish whiskey or brandy 2 cups whipped cream or
Dream Whip
Directions: Combine eggs, sugar,
milk, and coffee. Cook and stir over medium low heat
until sugar dissolves and mixture is slightly thickened.
Remove from heat, stir in whiskey. Cool to room
temperature. Stir in vanilla and whipped cream. Pour
into canister. Freeze according to ice cream maker
directions.
Makes 2 quarts.
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Sheridan’s
Irish Coffee
Heat a
stemmed whisky glass by running it under hot water. Add
1 cup of hot coffee and 1 1/2 ounces of Irish Mist
liqueur. Top with whipped cream.
Whisky Version:
Pour
coffee in a heated glass. Add three sugar cubes and one
jigger of whiskey. Add whipped cream to top.
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St.
Patrick's Day Pistachio Cupcakes
1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour 1 box instant
pistachio pudding mix 2/3 cup sugar 2 1/2
teaspoons baking powder 1/2 teaspoon salt 2
eggs 1 teaspoon vanilla 1 1/4 cups milk 1/2 cup
vegetable oil green food coloring 1 cup of green
vanilla frosting
Directions: In a large bowl,
stir together dry ingredients.
In a small bowl,
combine the eggs, milk, oil and vanilla. Stir in your
small bowl of liquid ingredients into dry ingredients.
Add green food coloring a little at a time until you
achieve your desired shade of green. Pour cupcake
mixture into greased cupcake pan about 2/3 full.
Bake
at 375 degrees F for 18 to 20 minutes or until golden
brown. While cupcakes are baking make
frosting.
Green Vanilla Frosting
1 cup margarine 2 teaspoons vanilla 4 cups
confectionary sugar (sifted) 4 tablespoons milk
green food coloring
Directions: Mix margarine,
milk, and vanilla with fork or electric mixer. Slowly
add confectionary sugar and green food coloring a little
at a time while mixing. Keep adding confectionary sugar
and mixing until you reach desired consistency for
frosting.
Let
cupcakes cool on rack. Then frost with green vanilla
frosting.
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Guinness Crock
Pot Beef Stew
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4 lbs. Beef Chuck for
stew 1 lb. carrots 12 potatoes Celery
stalks 4 Large onions 6 12 oz. cans beef
broth 3 12 oz. bottles Guinness
beer Cornstarch
Directions: Cut beef into
1-inch cubes, add beef and Guinness into crock pot and
cook on low for 4 hours or until cooked
through.
After the beef has cooked for 3
1/2 hours in the crock pot, cut veggies into
1-inch cubes / pieces and cook in a large pot on the
stove until almost done. Add beef
and broth in large pot with vegetables
and cook on low heat for 30 minutes more or
until veggies are done to your taste.
Stir 3 heaping tablespoons
of cornstarch into a small amount of cold water. Stir
until dissolved and add to stew. Allow stew to sit for 5
- 10 minutes and check for thickness.
Ladle onto platter and serve
hot.
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Apple-Barley
Pudding
4 Tbsp. Pearl barley 1 1/2 pound apples
Peeled, cored and sliced 3 Tbsp. Sugar 1 Tbsp.
lemon juice 3/4 cup heavy cream
Directions: Put the
barley in the water and bring to the boil.
Add
the sliced apples and continue cooking gently until the
barley and apples are soft. Drain the water.
Press the apples and barley through a sieve, or
put through the blender, and put back in the
saucepan.
Add the sugar and lemon juice and bring
to the boil again. Remove from the heat, allow to cool,
and then chill.
Serving Suggestions: Serve cool with the
cream stirred in.
Additional Comments: Recipe adapted from
the Appletree Press title: A Little Irish
Cookbook.
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Quick St.
Patrick's Day Treats By: Susanne Myers
Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day this year with
some of these fun and of course mostly green St.
Patrick’s Day Treats.
Leprechaun
Ale
Place a scoop of lime sherbet into a
tall glass, pour ginger ale over it and watch it fizz.
This can be made even fancier by rubbing some lime juice
on the rim of the glass and then dipping it in green
sugar crystals before you pour the leprechaun ale.
Lucky Clover
Cake
Prepare 9 x 13 inch cake using a
boxed cake mix. We like to use yellow cake for this. Get
a can of vanilla frosting and use a few drops of yellow
and blue food coloring to color the frosting green.
After the cake is baked and cooled down, cut three heart
shaped pieces out of the cake. We use a cardboard
template to make the hearts even. Arrange them on a
plate with the pointy ends pointing toward each other.
It will look like a clover leaf. Frost the entire cake
with the green vanilla frosting.
Mini
Mint Ice Cream Tarts
Purchase a roll of
refrigerated sugar cookie dough. Roll the dough into
small balls (a little smaller than a golf ball), and
press them in the bottoms of mini muffin pans. Bake
according to package directions. Press the middle of the
cooked dough down after you take them out of the oven.
Let them cool for 10 minutes, then transfer them to a
baking rack and let them cool completely. To serve,
scoop mint ice cream in each of your mini tart shells.
St. Patrick’s Day
Cookies
Buy or make simple sugar cookie
dough. Let the kids cut out shamrock shaped cookies with
a cookie cutter. Bake them. While they are cooling, use
food coloring to turn vanilla frosting or a simple
powered sugar and milk glaze green. Let the kids
decorate the cookies with frosting and plenty of green
sprinkles.
St. Patrick’s Day
Parfait
Prepare a pack of instant
pistachio pudding according to package directions. Mix a
few drops of food coloring with cool whip to tint it
green. Cut up some kiwi fruit. Layer chilled pudding,
kiwi fruit and green cool whip for a completely green
St. Patrick’s Day Parfait.
Are you seeing green
yet? Give a few of these yummy sweet St. Patrick’s Day
treats a try this year. They are always a big hit with
our families.
Article Directory: http://www.articledashboard.com
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"May the leprechauns
be near you, To spread luck along your way. May
all the Irish angels, Smile upon you on St. Patrick's
Day."
I hope you enjoy
this week's Irish recipes and Irish humor. Be sure to visit
our St. Patrick's Day Tribute . . . It's a
hoot!
Before you leave
today, I invite you to share one of your
favorite recipes, short cuts or tips with us.
You can either mail it to me (3205 Whipple Road, Union
City, CA 94587), fax it (510-429-9229), email
it to me or put it on the form, whichever works
best for you.
Have
a good week . . .
Joanne Your San Francisco
Bay Area Real Estate Broker and food lover
When it's time
to sell your San Fancisco Bay Area home,
be contact
me
Joanne L. Gardiner, Broker,
e-PRO
Advantage
Realty Advantage Mortgage Associates 3205 Whipple
Road - Union City, California
94587
(510) 429-4800 San Francisco Bay Area Real
Estate San Francisco Real Estate on the East
Bay
website:
http://www.joannegardiner.com
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~ Irish Toast
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"May
you be in heaven a half-hour before the devil knows
you're dead."
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~
Recipe Links ~ |
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Cooking for St. Patricks Day is always
more fun when you can choose from authentic Irish
Recipes . . .
Irish Kitchen
Index
Irish
Recipe Collection
Kirwilli's
Kitchen
Irish Dessert
Recipes
Ireland Eyes
Traditions, cooking and travel
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~ Irish Humor
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"Seamus, do you understand French?"
"I do if
its spoken in Irish."
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Q. Why did God
invent whiskey?
A. So the Irish would
never rule the world.
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"If you can guess how
many potatoes I've got in this bag you can have both of
them."
"Six?"
"No, but you're only
three out. Four!"
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"Hey, Angus, look out the window and see
if my turning indicator's
working."
"Yes...no...yes...no...yes..."
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Written on top of Irish ladders is the
word . . .
"stop."
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"Fergus, why do you Irish
drink?"
"It gives us something to do while we're
getting drunk."
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An Irish kamikaze pilot flew 48
sucessful missions.
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Q. What is Irish
diplomacy?
A. It's the
ability to tell a man to go to hell in such a
way that he will look forward to making the
trip
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Irish Humor |
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Paddy
was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an
important meeting and couldn't find a parking
place. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord
take pity on me. If you find me a parking
place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me
life and give up me Irish
Whiskey!"
Miraculously, a
parking place appeared.
Paddy looked up
again and said, "Never mind, I found
one."

Father Murphy
walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man
he meets, "Do you want to go to
heaven?"
The man said, "I
do, Father."
The priest said,
"Then stand over there against the
wall."
Then the priest
asked the second man, "Do you want to go to
heaven?"
"Certainly,
Father," was the man's reply.
"Then stand over
there against the wall," said the
priest.
Then Father Murphy
walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to
heaven?"
O'Toole said, "No,
I don't Father."
The priest said,
"I don't believe this. You mean to tell me
that when you die you don't want to go to
heaven?"
O'Toole said, "Oh,
when I die, yes. I thought you were getting
a group together to go right now."

Paddy
was in New York and was patiently waiting and
watching the traffic cop on a busy street
crossing. The cop stopped the flow of
traffic and shouted, "Okay, pedestrians."
Then he'd allow the traffic to pass.
He'd
done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the
sidewalk.
After
the cop had shouted, "Pedestrians!" for the tenth time,
Paddy went over to him and said, "Is it not about time
ye let the Catholics across?"

Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and
was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he
had died. He quickly phoned his best friend,
Finney.
"Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher.
"They say I died!!"
"Yes, I saw it!" replied
Finney. "Where are ye callin' from?"

An Irish priest is driving down to New
York and gets stopped for speeding in
Connecticut The state trooper smells alcohol
on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine
bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, "Sir, have you been
drinking?"
"Just water," says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell
wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says,
"Good Lord! He's done it again!"

Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie
the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one - just had another
fight with the little woman."
"Oh yeah?" said Charlie, "And how did this
one end?"
"When it was over," Mike replied, "She
came to me on her hands and knees.
"Really," said Charles, "Now that's a
switch! What did she say?"
She said, "Come out from under the bed,
you little chicken."

Flynn staggered home very late after
another evening with his drinking buddy,
Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking
his wife, Mary.
He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward
the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but
misjudged the bottom step. As he caught
himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around
and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey
bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing
especially painful.
Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up,
pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to
see that his butt cheeks were cut and
bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full
box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he
could on each place he saw blood.
He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid
box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.
In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing
pain in both his head and butt and Mary staring at him
from across the room.
She said, "You were drunk again last night
weren't you?"
Flynn said, "Why you say such a mean
thing?"
"Well," Mary said, "it could be the open
front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom
of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing
through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but
mostly.....it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall
mirror.
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