~ Coffee Break 96 ~ March 18, 2007

Welcome friends, Today, March 18th, my daughter Leanne is in Rome, Italy running the Maratona della citt`a di Roma Full Marathon (26.2 miles) as a member of The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Team In Training.  When she returns to the states she will tell us all about it and I will post what she has to say right here.    Leanne is very grateful to those of you who have supported her in this marathon.  She wants you to know she appreciates your generosity and sensitivity to the needs of others who are coping with what none of ever want to face ... cancer. I sincerely thank those of you who donated to the Lymphoma Society on Leanne's behalf.  If you didn't get a chance to donate yet and would like to, click the link is in the right column below my daughter's picture.  It will take you to a secure page, which is encrypted for your security. Of course I will be bringing you an update on Leanne's run in Italy and an update on the donations.  She is still short about $1,500 in meeting her goal, so if you're so inclined, I hope you will contribute what you can. Don't forget we welcome your participation in Coffee Break. Send us your jokes, trivia, things to ponder, tips and noteworthy items. If you have a suggestion of something you would like to see here, be sure to let us know that, too. Take care and stay in touch, Joanne Your San Francisco Bay Area Real Estate Broker ... and temporary Irishman Our St. Patrick's Day page is open for your enjoyment.

Pulic Service Announcement ...

Joanne's Favorite ... Word Web is a free software program brought to us by C/Net.  Every computer user should have on their desktop. This thesaurus/dictionary can be used to look up words from almost any program. In addition to displaying sense definitions and synonyms, WordWeb can find sets of related words. The database has more than 150,000 root words and 118,000 synonym sets, many proper nouns, pronunciations, and usage tags. Download Word Web Here's what one user said: You Little Beauty 17-Mar-2007 03:00:37 AM Reviewer: Complete Novice Pros: What a great idea this is. So simple to use and so very handy. Just highlight the word you want to check, hold down the Ctrl key and click on the icon in the tray and hey presto. If you have spelt the word wrong you can choose the right word and click replace and it does it for you. No need to re-type the word. It is so easy to use and very straight forward. Will check the spelling, meaning, antonyms and there's a thesaurus as well. What more could you want? Works in forums, e-mails, word, you name it it does it. And best still it is free to one and all. No bugs or ad/spy ware, this is a great addition to your computer and if like me you are dyslexic you will find it invaluable. Just download it. A big thank you to the people who developed it. Cons: You are kidding, right.

Now, this weeks Goodies ...

St. Patrick's Day ~ Thanks to Ms. Florence Pierson The reason the Irish celebrate is because St. Patrick drove the Norwegians out of Ireland.   It seems that centuries ago many Norwegians came to Ireland to escape the bitterness of the Norwegian winters.  Ireland was having a famine at the time and food was quite scarce. The Norwegians were eating almost all the fish caught in the area, leaving the Irish with nothing but potatoes.    St. Patrick, taking matters into his own hands like most Irishmen do, decided that the Norwegians had to go.  Secretly, organized the IRATRION (Irish Republican Army to rid Ireland of Norwegians).    Irish members of the IRATRION sabotaged all power plants in hopes that the fish in Norwegian refrigerators would spoil, forcing the Norwegians to a colder climate where their fish would keep.  The fish spoiled all right, but the Norwegians, as everyone knows today, thrive on spoiled fish...    Faced with failure, the Irishmen sneaked into the Norwegian fish storage caves in the dead of the night and sprinkled the rotten fish with lye, hoping to poison the Norwegian intruder.  But as everyone knows, this is how Lutefisk was introduced to the Norwegians and they thrived on the lye-soaked smelly fish.    Matters became even worse for the Irishmen when the Norwegians started taking over the Irish potato crop and making lefse.  Poor St. Pat was at his wits end and finally on March 17, he blew his top and told the Norwegians to "GO TO HELL'.  THEY ALL MOVED TO NORTH DAKOTA!

The Norwegians Are Way Ahead?  ~ Thanks to Mr. John Lopez Introducing the book.  Gutenberg offers 'In your home' support Click this link: http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2007/introducing-the-book-p1.php

Too Late, He's Long Dead  ~ Thanks to Ms. Barbara Jones The orthopaedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, and had fastened the seatbelt around it to stop it falling over. I hadn't considered the drive across town. At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became obvious, and I looked across and explained, "I'm delivering him to my doctor's office." The other driver leaned out of his window. "I hate to tell you, man," he said, "but I think it's too late!"

Kansas ~ Thanks to Mr. Richard DeBiaso My wife and I were traveling on the Kansas Turnpike, bucking 30 to 45 m.p.h. crosswinds. At the tollbooth, I asked the attendant, "What do you people do in Kansas when the wind quits?" The tollbooth attendant didn't miss a beat. She answered, "We take the rocks out of our pockets."

Only The Irish  ~ Thanks to Ms. Florence Pierson An  Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the driver, where have ya been?" "Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the  drunk. "Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink  this evening." "I did all right," the drunk says with a smile. "Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?" "Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

Guinness Stout ~ Thanks to Ms. Florence Pierson Brenda  O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. "Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya." "Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim.  But where's my husband?" "That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery ..." "Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."  "I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry." Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?" "It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned." "Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?" "Well, Brenda ... no. In fact, he got out three times to pee."

Not Your Average Photos ~ Thanks to Mr. Jim Knudsen Click on the link below to check out some interesting photo's.  Talk about being in  right place at the right time. Enjoy http://hytaipan.home.comcast.net/different_photos.htm

ANever Argue With a Woman ~ Thanks to Ms. Perrilee Pizzini One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?" "Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?") "You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her. "I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading." "Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up." "If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman. "But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden. "That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment." "Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

The Priest and The Drunk ~ Thanks to Ms. Florence Pierson A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sit there. Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the  wall.  The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either!"

Picture of the Week - Thanks to Mr. Jim Knudsen

Hilltop Home

I hope you enjoyed this issue of Coffee Break. Your comments and suggestions are always welcome.  When you come across something funny or informative and in good taste, please send it along.  I would love to include it with your name and our thanks.  Be sure to visit our St. Patrick's Day page. Make it a good week, be happy and and come back soon. Joanne Your San Francisco Bay Area Real Estate Broker Joanne L. Gardiner, Broker e-PRO Realtor® Advantage Realty Clock Tower Commerce Center 3205 Whipple Road Union City, California 94587 (510) 429-4800   Our primary services in the San Francisco Bay Area are: East bay real estate,  Hayward real estate, Castro Valley real estate,  Danville real estate, Dublin real estate, Fremont real estate,  Newark real estate, Niles real estate, Pleasanton real estate, San Leandro real estate, San Lorenzo real estate, San Ramon real estate, Sunol real estate and Union City real estate. Peninsula real estate, Palo Alto real estate, Foster City real estate, San Mateo real estate, San Carlos real estate, Burlingame real estate, Belmont real estate, Half Moon Bay real estate Types of real estate in which we specialize:  houses, condominiums, townhomes, garden homes, PUDs, single family homes, mobile homes, module homes, duets, residential income property, duplexes, tri-plexes, four-plexes, small apartment complexes and special use properties.