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~ This Week's
Goodies ~
November 13,
2006 |
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Hi Friends,
We love to have you participate,
too. Send us your jokes, trivia, things to ponder,
tips and items that are noteworthy. 
Our Thanksgiving page
is now open for your enjoyement.
Take care,
Joanne
Your San Francisco Bay
Area Real Estate Broke
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| Public Service Announcements
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Wreaths at
Arlington ~ Thanks to Mr. Jim
Knudsen
The
above photo is a Christmas-season picture of
graves at Arlington National
Cemetery, the final resting place of men and women who
served the United States in the military and in the
government. Every December since 1992, volunteers have
laid wreaths donated by the Worcester Wreath
Company of Harrington, Maine, at the
headstones of over 5,000 of America's honored dead.
Morrill Worcester initially brought 4,000
surplus wreaths from the holiday decoration company he
owns to adorn gravesites at Arlington in 1992. Every
year since then he has set aside several thousand
wreaths especially for that purpose, driving to
Arlington in December with a trailer full of decorations
and dozens of volunteers to distribute them throughout
the cemetery. As Mr. Worcester told an Air Force
reporter in 2005:
We couldn't do anything in this country if it
wasn't for the people who gave their lives to protect
us. It's a great honor to be able to come here and pay
our respects. That first year, there were just a few of
us, and it took us five or six hours to get them placed.
This year, we had extra help and got done in about an
hour. In 2006, Mr. Worcester hopes to expand the
Arlington Wreath Project into Wreaths Across
America, an effort to place
memorial wreaths at more than 230 State and National
Cemeteries and Veterans Monuments across the United
States.
The 2006 wreath-laying ceremony at
Arlington (and other sites) will take place on December
14. Persons interested in participating in this event
should contact Wayne Hanson at (703) 971-4148. Those who
cannot attend in person may participate by observing a
moment of silence at noon hour on December 14 "to
reflect on the sacrifices made and freely given by those
who will not be home for the
holidays."
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 Realism Exhibit
Featuring
Original Paintings by
Debbie Wardrope, Magdalene
Chan,
Marcia Ritz, and Gerald
Rough
Show dates:
November
2nd to December 7th 2006
Adobe Art Center
Gallery
20395 San Miguel Avenue,
Castro Valley,
CA (510) 881-6736
Gallery
Hours:
Monday—Wednesday: 9:00 AM
to 4:00 PM
Thursday-Saturday: 11:00 AM to
3:00 PM
Visit Debbie
Wardrope's site
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The Internet Myth About Target Stores
I checked out the
story about Target stores that keeps floating
around the internet. Snopes.com a
http://www.snopes.com verified that this
story about Target is wrong on every point except the
one about the Salvation Army not being allowed to
collect money in front of Target stores.
For those of you
interested in the truth, here's the link:
http://www.snopes.com/politics/military/target.asp
Target stores is owned
by an American company based
in Minnesota and founded by George D. Dayton
of Dayton's Department stores. Here's Target's
History:
I would like to
encourage everyone to support American owned companies,
not pass on emails loaded with harmful
myths.
Best
regards,
Joanne
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Now, this weeks Goodies
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Texas University
Psychology ~ Thanks to Mr. Tracy
DeBiaso
At The University of Texas,
students in a psychology program were attending
their first class on Emotional
Extremes. "Just to establish some
parameters," said the professor to the
student from Arkansas, "What is the opposite of
joy?"
"Sadness," said the student.
"And
the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young
lady from Oklahoma.
"Elation," she
said.
"And you sir," he said to the young man
from Texas, "what about the opposite of
woe?"
The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that
would be 'giddy up."
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A Fire Rainbow ~
Thanks to Ms. Janet Mapes
This is a
fire rainbow - The rarest of all naturally occuring
atmospheric phenomena. The picture
was captured this week on the Idaho/Washington
border. The event lasted about one
hour.
Clouds have
to be cirrus at least 20,000 feet in the air with just
the right amount of ice crystals and the sun has to
hit the clouds at precisely 58
degrees.
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Bibles ~
Thanks to Ms. Florence
Pierson
A minister concluded that
his church was getting into serious financial troubles.
While checking the church storeroom, he discovered
several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened
and distributed. So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for
three volunteers from the congregation who would be
willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for $10 each to
raise the desperately needed money for the
church.
Peter, Paul and Louie all
raised their hands to volunteer for the task.
The minister knew that
Peter and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were
likely capable of selling some bibles but he had serious
doubts about Louie. Louie was just a little local
farmer, who had always tended to keep to himself because
he was embarrassed by his speech impediment. Poor little
Louis stuttered very badly. But, not wanting to
discourage poor Louis, the minister decided to let him
try anyway.
He sent the three of them
away with the back seat of their cars stacked with
bibles and asked them to meet with him and report the
results of their door-to-door selling efforts the
following Sunday.
Anxious to find out how
successful they were, the minister immediately asked
Peter, "Well, Peter, how did you make out selling our
bibles last week?"
Proudly handing the
reverend an envelope, Peter replied, "using my sales
prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles, and here's the
$200 I collected on behalf of the church."
"Fine job, Peter!" The
minister said, vigorously shaking his hand. "You are
indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to
you."
Turning to Paul, he asked
"And Paul, how many bibles did you manage to sell for
the church last week?"*
Paul, smiling and sticking
out his chest, confidently replied," I am a professional
salesman and was happy to give the church the benefit of
my sales expertise. Last week I sold 28 bibles on behalf
of the church, and here's $280 I collected."
The minister responded,
"That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a
professional salesman and the church is also indebted to
you."
Apprehensively, the
minister turned to little Louie and said, "And Louie,
did you manage to sell any bibles last
week?"*
Louie silently offered the
minister a large envelope. The reverend opened it and
counted the contents. "What is this?" the minister
exclaimed. "Louie, there's $3200 in here! Are you
suggesting that you sold 320 bibles for the church, door
to door, in just one week?
Louie just
nodded.
That's impossible!" both
Peter and Paul said in unison. "We are professional
salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many
bibles as we could."*
"Yes, this does seem
unlikely," the minister agreed. "I think you'd better
explain how you managed to accomplish this,
Louie."*
Louie shrugged. "I-I-I-
re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f-for
sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.*
Impatiently, Peter
interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us
what you said to them when they answered the
door!"*
"A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis
replied, "W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to
b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible f-f-for t-t-ten
b-b-b-bucks ---o-o-o-or--- wo-wo-would yo-you -j-j-just
l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and
r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to
y-y-you?"*
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A Blonde Joke ~ Thanks to
Mr. Tracy DeBiaso
A blonde tried to
sell her old car but she was having problems selling it
because the car had 250,000 miles on it. One day, she
told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a
salon.
The brunette told
her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to
sell, but it's not
legal."
"That doesn't
matter," replied the blonde, "if I only can sell the
car."
"Okay," said the
brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He
owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will
turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then
it should not be a problem to sell your car." The next
day the blonde made the trip to the mechanic.
About one month
after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you sell
your car?"
"No." replied the
blonde, "Why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on
it."
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Retirement Fun ~
Thanks to Mr. John
Lopez
Working
people frequently ask retired people what they do to
make their days
interesting. Well for example, the other day
my wife and I went into town
and went into a shop. We were only in there
for about 5 minutes.
When we came out, there was a cop
writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, "Come on man, how about
giving a senior citizen a
break?"
He ignored us
and continued writing the ticket. I called him
a S---head. He
glared at me and started writing another ticket for
having worn tires.
So my wife called him a Nazi. He
finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started
writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The
more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, we didn't care, our car
was parked around the corner.
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A Florida Biker and His Babe ~ Thanks to Ms.
Barbara Jones
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Guess
Who? ~ Thanks to Mr. Jim
Knudsen
I will seek and find You
...
I shall take you to bed ...
and have my way with you.
I will make you ache,
shake and sweat until you moan and
groan.
I will make you beg for
mercy, beg for me to
stop.
I will exhaust you to the
point that you will be
relieved when I'm finished with you.
And, when I am finished,
you will be weak for
days.
All my
love,
The
Flu
P.S. Now, get your mind
out of the gutter and go get your flu shot!
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Redneck
Nativity Scene ~ Thanks to Ms. Florence
Pierson
An Outsider in a
small Texas town around
Christmas time, saw a "Nativity Scene" that showed great
skill and talent had gone into creating it. But one
small feature was all wrong: the three wise men were
wearing firemen's helmets.
Totally unable
to come up with a reason or explanation, he left. At a
"Quik Stop" on the edge of town, he asked the lady
behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded
into a rage, yelling, "You darn Yankees never read your
Bibles!" The Outsider assured her that he did, but
simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the
Bible.
She jerked her Bible from behind the
counter and riffled through some pages, and finally
jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in the guys
face she said, "See, it says right here, 'The three wise
men came from afar.'
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A Reminder ~ Thanks to
Mr. Jim Knudsen
http://home.valornet.com/sabruf2/countchr.html
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The USRSF ~ Thanks to Mr. Jim
Knudsen
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George Carlin on Aging ~ Thanks to Ms.
Florence Pierson
Do you realize that the
only time in our lives when we like to get old is
when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old,
you're so excited about aging that you think in
fractions.
"How old are you?" "I'm four and a
half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're
four and a half, going on five! That's the
key.
You get into your teens,
now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next
number, or even a few ahead. "How old are
you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but
hey,
you're gonna be 16!
And then the greatest day
of your life . . . you become 21. Even the words
sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME
21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh,
what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk!
He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no
fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong?
What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then
you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's
all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH
50 and your dreams are gone.
But wait!
You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you
would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH
50 and MAKE it to 60.
You've built up so much
speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a
day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into
your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you
HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime And it
doesn't end there.
Into the 90s, you start
going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."
Then a strange
thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become
a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a
half!"
May you all make it to a
healthy 100 and a half!!
More of George
Carlin: http://georgecarlin.com/home/home.html
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| Picture
of the Week - Thanks to Mr. Jim
Knudsen |
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I hope you enjoyed this week's Coffee
Break. Your comments and suggestion
are always welcome. When you
come across something funny or informative and in
good taste, please send it along. I would love
to include it with your name and our
thanks. Have a good week!
Joanne
Your San Francisco Bay Area Real Estate
Broker
Joanne
L. Gardiner, Broker, e-PRO
Realtor
Advantage
Realty
Advantage Mortgage Associates
3205 Whipple
Road
Union City, California
94587
(510)
429-4800
San Francisco Bay Area ~ San
Francisco East Bay Real Estate
web
site: http://www.joannegardiner.com
Our
primary services in the San
Francisco Bay Area are: East bay real
estate, Hayward real
estate, Castro Valley real estate, Danville
real estate, Dublin real estate, Fremont real
estate, Newark real estate, Niles real
estate, Pleasanton real estate, San Leandro
real estate, San Lorenzo real estate, San Ramon
real estate, Sunol real estate and Union
City real estate. Peninsula real
estate, Palo Alto real estate, Foster City
real estate, San Mateo real estate, San Carlos real
estate, Burlingame real estate, Belmont real estate,
Half Moon Bay real estate
Types of real estate in
which we specialize: houses,
condominiums, townhomes, garden homes, PUDs, single
family homes, mobile homes, module homes, duets,
residential income property, duplexes, tri-plexes,
four-plexes, small apartment complexes and special
use
properties. | |
