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~ Coffee
Break 81~
November 5,
2006 |
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Hi Friends,
Remember, we love to have you participate,
too. Send us your jokes, trivia, things to ponder,
tips and items that are noteworthy.
Take care,
Joanne
Your San Francisco Bay
Area Real Estate Broker
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| Public Service Announcements
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Remember to ...
Tuesday, November 7th
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 Realism Exhibit
Featuring
Original Paintings by
Debbie Wardrope, Magdalene
Chan,
Marcia Ritz, and Gerald
Rough
Show dates:
November
2nd to December 7th 2006
Adobe Art Center
Gallery
20395 San Miguel Avenue,
Castro Valley,
CA (510) 881-6736
Gallery
Hours:
Monday—Wednesday: 9:00 AM
to 4:00 PM
Thursday-Saturday: 11:00 AM to
3:00 PM
Visit Debbie
Wardrope's site |
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The Internet Myth About
Target Stores
I checked out the
story about Target stores that keeps floating
around the internet. Snopes.com a
http://www.snopes.com verified that this
story about Target is wrong on every point except the
one about the Salvation Army not being allowed to
collect money in front of Target stores.
For those of you
interested in the truth, here's the link:
http://www.snopes.com/politics/military/target.asp
Target stores is owned
by an American company based
in Minnesota and founded by George D. Dayton
of Dayton's Department stores. Here's Target's
History:
I would like to
encourage everyone to support American owned companies,
not pass on emails loaded with harmful
myths.
Best
regards,
Joanne
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Is Your Drinking Water Making You
Sick?
Our
new Chloramine in drinking
water page sheds light on the
effects Chloramine has on your health.
If you have had problems like skin
irritations, rashes, digestive and bowel disorders
(irritable bowel syndrome), kidney stones,
coughing, respiratory problems and don't know
why, consider this; The water you're drinking
and preparing your food with could be the root of your
problems.
Chloramine
is now in many drinking water supplies across the
nation. Learn about its affects and what you can
do to protect yourself.
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Now, this weeks Goodies
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New Wine For
Seniors ~ Thanks to Mr. Jim
Knudsen
California vintners, in
the Napa Valley area, which primarily produces Pinot
Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines have developed
a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic.
It is expected to reduce the number of trips older
people have to make to the bathroom during the night.
The new wine will be
marketed as ...
PINO MORE.
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Sweet Revenge ~
Thanks to Ms. Barbara
Jones
Mrs. Johnson decided to have her portrait
painted by a famous artist. She told the
artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings,
a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, and a ruby
pendant."
"But you are not wearing any of those
things."
"I know," said Mrs. Johnson. "My health
is not good and my husband is having an affair with
his secretary. When I die I'm sure he will
marry her, and I want her to go nuts
looking for the jewelry."
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Can you get married in Heaven?
~ Thanks to Ms. Sandra Freitas
On their way to get married, a young Catholic
couple are involved in a fatal car accident. The couple
finds themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates
waiting for St. Peter to return. While waiting, they
begin to wonder: Could we possibly get married in
Heaven?
When St. Peter showed up, they asked him. St.
Peter says, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone
has asked. Let me go find out", and he leaves.
The couple sat and waited and waited. Two months
passed and the couple is still waiting. As they waited,
they discussed that If they were allowed to get married
in Heaven, what was the eternal aspect of it all. "What
if it doesn't work?" They wondered, "Are we stuck
together FOREVER?"
After yet another month, St. Peter finally
returns, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informs
the couple, "you CAN get married in Heaven."
"Great!" said the couple, "But we were
just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we
also get a divorce in Heaven?"
St. Peter throws his clipboard onto the ground.
What's wrong?" asked the frightened
couple.
"OH, COME ON!" St. Peter whines,
"It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do
you have ANY idea how long it will take me to find a
LAWYER?"
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Creation ~ Thanks to Ms. Florence
Pierson
A
little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he
read her a bedtime story. From time to
time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up
to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately
stroking her own cheek, then his
again.
Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God
make you?"
"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God
made me a long time ago."
"Oh." she paused,
"Grandpa, did God make me too?"
"Yes, indeed,
honey," he said, "God made you just a little while
ago."
Feeling their respective faces again,
she observed, "God's getting better at it, isn't
he?
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Bubba had Shingles ~ Thanks
to Ms. Sandra Freitas
Those of us who
spend much time in a doctor's office should appreciate
this! Doesn't it seem that more and more that physicians
are running their practices like an assembly line?
Here's what happened to Bubba:
Bubba walked
into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him
what he had. Bubba said, "Shingles."
So she wrote
down his name, address, medical insurance number and
told him to have a seat. Fifteen minutes later a nurse's
aide came out and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said,
"Shingles."
So she wrote
down his height, weight, a complete medical history and
told Bubba to wait in the examining room. A half hour later a
nurse came in and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said,
"Shingles."
So the nurse
gave Bubba a blood test, a blood pressure test, an
electrocardiogram, and told Bubba to take off all his
clothes and wait for the doctor. An hour later the doctor
came in and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said,
"shingles."
The doctor
asked, Where?
Bubba said,
"Outside on the truck. Where do you want
them?"
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Riddle of the Day ~ Thanks to Mr.
Jim Knudsen
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big
one.
Michael J. Fox has a small
one.
Madonna doesn't have one.
The Pope
has one but doesn't use
it.
Clinton
uses his all the time.
Bush is one
Mickey
Mouse has an unusual one.
Liberace never used his
on women.
Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of
his.
Cher
claims that she took on 3.
We never saw Lucy use
Desi's.
What is it?
Give
Up?
Answer
below!
The
answer is: "A Last
Name."
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| Picture
of the Week - Thanks to Mr. Jim
Knudsen |
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The following is a picture taken directly
above these camels in the desert at
sunset. It is considered one of
the best pictures of the year. When you look
closely, the camels are the little white line in the
picture; the black figures are their
shadows!
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I hope you enjoyed this week's Coffee
Break. Your comments and suggestions
are always welcome. If you come
across something funny or informative and in good taste,
please send it along. I would love
to include it with your name and our
thanks. Have a good week!
Joanne
Your San Francisco Bay Area Real Estate
Broker
Joanne
L. Gardiner, Broker, e-PRO
Realtor
Advantage
Realty
Advantage Mortgage Associates
3205 Whipple
Road
Union City, California
94587
(510)
429-4800
San Francisco Bay Area ~ San
Francisco East Bay Real Estate
web
site: http://www.joannegardiner.com
Our
primary services in the San
Francisco Bay Area are: East bay real
estate, Hayward real
estate, Castro Valley real estate, Danville
real estate, Dublin real estate, Fremont real
estate, Newark real estate, Niles real
estate, Pleasanton real estate, San Leandro
real estate, San Lorenzo real estate, San Ramon
real estate, Sunol real estate and Union
City real estate. Peninsula real
estate, Palo Alto real estate, Foster City
real estate, San Mateo real estate, San Carlos real
estate, Burlingame real estate, Belmont real estate,
Half Moon Bay real estate
Types of real estate in
which we specialize: houses,
condominiums, townhomes, garden homes, PUDs, single
family homes, mobile homes, module homes, duets,
residential income property, duplexes, tri-plexes,
four-plexes, small apartment complexes and special
use
properties. | |
