~  Coffee Break 73 ~ July 23, 2006 Coffee Trivia Q.  Who directed the movie “Coffee & Cigarettes”? Answer: Jim Jarmusch Q.  In which French town is the Café depicted in Van Gogh's painting “Café de Nuit”? Answer: Arles Q.  What is the title of the 1942 Edward Hopper painting showing an atmospheric Café night scene? Answer: Nighthawks Q.  Who was the artist who in 1880 painted “Woman with a Coffee Pot”? Answer: Paul Cezanne Q.  Which country is the largest consumer of coffee per capita? Answer: Finland   Public Service Announcement Drink Water - A tip you need to heed Sent to us by Mr. Jim Knudsen One glass of water shuts down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a University study. Lack of water is the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue. Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.  A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen. Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79% and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer.  Are you drinking the amount of water you need every day? If not, we'll wait while you go get a glass of this wonderful elixir.   This could be true ~ Thanks to Mr. Richard DeBiaso Two patients limp into two different American Medical clinics with the same complaint. Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip replacement.   The first patient is examined within the hour, is x-rayed the same day and has a time booked for surgery the following week.   The second sees the family doctor after waiting a week for an appointment, then waits eighteen weeks to see a specialist, then gets an x-ray, which isn't reviewed for another month and finally has his surgery scheduled for 6 months from then.   Q.  What is the difference between these two patients? A.  The first is a Golden Retriever and the second is a Senior Citizen. A Blonde Joke ~ Thanks to Ms. Linda Jo Bruton A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky  voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair -- given that you are blind -- that you should know five things:          1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.          2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.          3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.          4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.          5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.   Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?" The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, "No. Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times." Patriotic Father On a recent trip to Washington, D.C., my brother-in-law overheard a patriotic father pointing out a well-known building to his son. "You see that triangular-shaped octagon over there? That's the Pentagon."   Ole and Lena ~ Thanks to Mr. Richard DeBiaso  Ole and Lena were out walking and Lena clutched her heart and fell to the sidewalk. Ole got out his cell phone and called 9-1-1. The Operator said "Where are you?" Ole answered, "We were walking and Lena is on the sidewalk on Eucalyptus Street." The operator asked, "How do you spell that?" The phone seemed to go dead. The operator kept shouting for Ole. She could hear him panting. He finally came back on line and said, "I dragged her over to Oak Street, that's O-A-K."    A good trade ~ Thanks to Ms. Sandra Freitas Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.  As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.   Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a white bag on the seat next to Sally.   "What's in bag?" asked the old woman Sally looked down at the white bag and said, "It's a box of chocolates. I got it for my husband".   The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two.  Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder,  she said,  "Good Trade" More Ole and Lena ~ Thanks to Mr. Richard DeBiaso Ole and Lena went to the Olympics. While sitting on a bench a lady turned to Ole and asked, "Are you a pole vaulter?" Ole replied, "No, I'm Norvegian and my name ain't Valter."  Miss Beatrice ~ Thanks to Ms. Sandra Freitas Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.  As he sat facing her old hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strangefloater, but soon it got the better of him and He could no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl. Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. "Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter!"  Young Love ~ Thanks to Ms. Florence Pierson A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street. The father, being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand. "That's a serious step," he said. "Have you thought it out completely?" "Yes," his young son answered. "We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It's right across the street, so I can run home if I get scared of the dark." "How about transportation?" the father asked. "I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles," the little boy answered.   The boy had an answer to every question the father raised.       Finally, in exasperation, his dad asked, "What about babies? When you're married, you're liable to have babies, you know." "We've thought about that, too," the little boy replied. "We're not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I'm going to step on it!" Insufficient Brain Activity A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with "IBA" or insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late …  Picture of the Week - Thanks to Mr. Jim Knudsen   We hope you enjoyed this week's Coffee Break. Your comments and suggestions are always  welcome.  If you run across something funny or informative and in good taste we would love to include it with your name and our thanks.  Joanne Joanne L. Gardiner, Broker, e-PRO Realtor Advantage Realty Advantage Mortgage Associates 3205 Whipple Road Union City, California 94587 (510) 429-4800 San Francisco Bay Area  San Francisco East Bay Real Estate web site: http://www.joannegardiner.com   Our primary services on the San Francisco East Bay are:  Alameda County real estate and Contra Costa County real estate: Castro Valley real estate,  Danville real estate, Dublin real estate, Fremont real estate, Hayward real estate, Newark real estate, Oakland real estate, Pleasanton real estate, San Leandro real estate, San Lorenzo real estate, San Ramon real estate, Sunol real estate and Union City real estate.  Types of real estate in which we specialize: houses, condominiums, townhomes, garden homes, PUDs, single family homes, mobile homes, module homes, duets, residential income property, duplexes, tri-plexes, four-plexes, small apartment complexes and special use properties.

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