~  Coffee Break 70  ~ July 2, 2006     Our 4th of July Tribute is now open. Enjoy!  My 4th of July Greeting Card For You   Public Service Announcement . . . Breast Cancer That Doesn't Show Up in a Mammogram Contributed by: Ms. Beth Ward This was sent to me by a good friend.  I didn't know this kind of breast cancer existed until now.  I watched this report with great interest because this cancer does not show up in mammograms.   Please take a few moments now to watch this report.  I don't know how long it will be available.  Then you might want to send this to all the ladies you know. KOMO is the ABC affiliate in Seattle/Tacoma Washington.  http://www.komotv.com/news/story.asp?ID=43313     Coffee Trivia . . .   Where Coffee Comes From Coffee plants are fussy! : ) They grow only near the equator - between the Tropics of Capricorn and Cancer. They need fertile soil, no frost and most of the best coffees are grown in mountainous regions between 4,000 and 6,000 feet above sea level. The gourmet coffee growing regions of the world are the Americas, Africa, Arabia and Indonesia.     "Next Question"   In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the teacher was asking. "Next question," announced the instructor. "How would you like to be seen by the opposite sex?" I was thinking about my answer when the young woman next to me turned and asked, "How do you spell 'intellectual'?"   A What? ~ Thanks to Mr. Jim Knudsen Rockwell Automation's Retroincabulator!      Seniors ~ Thanks to Ms. Sue Siegfried   A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in Trailer Estates, a Florida mobile home park. A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks, "Are you a stranger here?" He replies, "I lived here years ago." "So, where were you all these years?" "In prison," he says. "Why did they put you in prison?" He looked at her, and very quietly said, "I killed my wife." "Oh!" said the woman. "So you're single ... " Coffee "The only thing that wakes you up faster than coffee is spilled coffee."   "Church Leadership" Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them. We were celebrating the 100th anniversary of our church, and several former pastors and the bishop were in attendance. At one point, our minister had the children gather at the altar for a talk about the importance of the day. He began by asking, "Does anyone know what the bishop does?" There was silence. Finally, one little boy answered gravely, "He's the one you can move diagonally."   Birthday Calculator ~ Thanks to Mr. Jim Knudsen Everyone is born on a special time and day. This calendar will show you just how special the day was that you were born, because you are so special to me I wanted to share this with you. It tells you how many hours and how many seconds you have been alive on this earth and when you were probably conceived. How cool is that? This is cool. After you've finished reading the info, click again, and see what the moon looked like the nite you were born. This is neat. Enjoy. Birthday Calculator   "Knowing the Numbers" The teacher asked one of her young students if he knew his numbers. "Yes," he said. "I do. My father taught me." "Good. What comes after three." "Four," answers the boy. "What comes after six?" "Seven." "Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good job. What comes after ten?" "A jack," says the little boy.   Do guardian angels exist? ~ Thanks to Mr. Jim Knudsen You're not going to believe this!   Stars My friend's 5 year old granddaughter looked at the stars one night and exclaimed, "God's home! All his lights are on!"   "Jumper" At the local Starbucks, a little guy exchanged words with a big bald guy and it looked like they were about to go to blows. "You've got a lot of nerve for such a shrimp!" snarled the big guy. "Look, you big jerk," barked the little guy. "I'm not scared of anybody, or anything! I come from a long line of jumpers. My great-grandfather jumped with no parachute from a balloon. My grandfather jumped without a 'chute from a biplane. My mother and father both jumped from a jet. And tomorrow, I'll jump from a rocket!" "You're crazy, you little twerp," said the big guy. "You could get killed!" "So what?" said the little guy. "I have no family!"   Stealing the paintings ~ Thanks to Mr. Jim Knudsen Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, getting in and out past security, he was captured only 2 blocks away when his Econoline ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied: "I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."    We hope you enjoyed this week's Coffee Break. Your comments and suggestions are always  welcome.  If you run across something funny or informative and in good taste we would love to include it with your name and our thanks.  Joanne Joanne L. Gardiner, Broker, e-PRO Realtor Advantage Realty Advantage Mortgage Associates 3205 Whipple Road Union City, California 94587 (510) 429-4800 San Francisco Bay Area  San Francisco East Bay Real Estate web site: http://www.joannegardiner.com Our primary services on the San Francisco East Bay are:  Alameda County real estate and Contra Costa County real estate: Castro Valley real estate,  Danville real estate, Dublin real estate, Fremont real estate, Hayward real estate, Newark real estate, Oakland real estate, Pleasanton real estate, San Leandro real estate, San Lorenzo real estate, San Ramon real estate, Sunol real estate and Union City real estate.  Types of real estate in which we specialize: houses, condominiums, townhomes, garden homes, PUDs, single family homes, mobile homes, module homes, duets, residential income property, duplexes, tri-plexes, four-plexes, small apartment complexes and special use properties.

top of page