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 Good with
Coffee...
October
6, 2009 Next update November
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Are you nothing but a
future "dead peasant" to your
boss?
Few movies have ever fired me up like this
one did. It  might be a little difficult
for you to wrap your mind around this, but it's
true. Large corporations, those which
we regard as the backbone of America, have
been taking out life insurance policies on their
employees. Not for the benefit of the
employee's heirs, but for the benefit of the
company for which they work or had worked.
Most of the time this is done without the employee's
knowledge or consent.
Sometimes truth is harder to accept than
fiction. The promised health insurance coverage
that congress is batting around like a hot potato, may
end up benefiting the insurance companies,
politicians and pharmaceutical companies and force
many of us into worse positions than we are
in today.
These
are among the many startling revelations
exposed by Michael Moore in his new movie:
"Capitalism: A
Love Story." I
was amazed by what I learned. I think you
will be too. Find a theatre
where
it is playing and make a point to see it today.
I
urge you all to really raise hell with your
elected officials. The time for them to
quit squeezing the life out of us has got
to end now. Politicians can't stand pressure
from voters, so give it to them. We can make a
difference.
Watch
this brief interview of Father Peter
Dougherty.
Final
reminder...
If you have not owned a home in the past
three years, then you qualify to receive $8,000 from the
government if you buy a home or mobile home
before November 30, 2009. Don't miss
out on this windfall. Escrows are taking 45 to 60
days. If you'd like to own a home and get an
$8,000 gift from the government, call me today. I
will help you get pre-approved for a loan and I'll
find you just the
right home.
Sears
Discount...
Fidelity
National Home Warranty company has made available
through Sears special discounts for my clients and
friends of JoanneGardiner.com. You do
not need to have a home warranty on your home
or even be buying a home in order to use
this discount. The Sears Discount information
is in PDF format. You will need Adobe Reader. If
you do not have it, you may download Adobe Reader free.
 I look
forward to your comments, questions and
suggestions.
Take
care,
Joanne
Your
San Francisco Bay Area Real Estate Broker... and coffee
lover.
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You heard it here...
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Morals ~ Thanks to Mr. Jim
Knudsen
You are driving
down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when
you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting
for the bus:
1. An old lady
who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend
who once saved your life.
3. The perfect partner you
have been dreaming about.
Which one would
you choose to offer a ride to,knowing that there could
only be one passenger in your car?
Think before
you continue reading.
This is a
moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as
part of a job application. You could pick up the old
lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should
save her first. Or you could take the old friend because
he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect
chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able
to find your perfect mate again.
Answer:
The
candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no
trouble coming up with his answer. He simply answered:
"I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him
take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and
wait for the bus with the partner of my
dreams."
Sometimes, we
gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought
limitations. Never forget to "Think Outside of the
Box."
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Your house can be more
comfortable this
winter.
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A Homespun Idea for an
Old-fashioned Christmas...
Last year I asked my family what they
wanted for Christmas. To my surprise they
unanimously said flannel pajama bottoms with
pockets!
I didn't think that was much of a
Christmas present, but they assured me that's what they
really wanted and added how much they had
loved the last pajama bottoms I made some
years ago.
So, why am I telling you this now?
Because Christmas will be on us before you know
it.
I would imagine your family would
welcome a pair of homemade P.J. bottoms with pockets,
too. They are very easy to make with any old
sewing machine. The flannel at fabric stores is
quite superior in feel and quality compared to
ready-made bottoms found in department stores and big
box stores.
Take a look at
simplicity.com, where there's no charge for shipping
anywhere within the continental US.
Jo-Ann Stores has become my favorite fabic
and craft store. Browse their online store at
Joann.com.
In addition to sewing, my family likes
my homemade breads, jams, pickles, etc. I didn't
put up any pints again this year, too busy with
real estate. However, in years past my jams
and pickles have won ribbons at the Alameda County
Fair. That's then and this is now.
I still bake a good many loaves of
bread during fall and winter and have already set
up my bread machine, which I use only to mix the
dough. I hand shape and bake the
breads in the conventional oven. My specialty
is an old family recipe for Cardamom Bread from the
Swedish side of our family. If you would like
to hone your bread-making skills, try any of the
good and easy bread recipes in our Cyber Kitchen at
Breads, Snacks &
Desserts. They make thoughtful gifts,
especially when wrapped in clear plastic wrap or
cellophane and tied with a colorful bow.
Let me know if you have any suggestions
or questions.
Joanne |
Joe Legal and Jose Illegal ~
Thanks to Ms. Merrilee Love-De
Biaso
Here is an example of why
hiring illegal aliens is
not economically productive for the United
States. Try to follow along.
You have two
families: "Joe Legal" and "Jose Illegal" Both
families have two parents, two children, and live
in California.
Joe Legal works in construction,
has a Social Security Number and makes $25.00
per hour with taxes deducted.
Jose Illegal
also works in construction, has NO Social Security
Number, and gets paid $15.00 cash "under the
table."
Ready? Now pay close
attention...
Joe Legal: $25..00 per hour x
40 hours = $1000.00 per week, or $52,000.00
per year. Now take 30% away for state and federal
tax; Joe Legal now has
$31,231.00.
Jose Illegal: $15.00 per hour x
40 hours = $600.00 per week, or $31,200.00 per
year. Jose Illegal pays no taxes. Jose Illegal now
has $31,200.00.
Joe Legal pays medical
and dental insurance with limited coverage for his
family at $600.00 per month, or $7,200.00 per
year. Joe Legal now
has $24,031.00.
Jose Illegal has full
medical and dental coverage through the state
and local clinics at a cost of $0.00 per year. Jose
Illegal still has $31,200.00.
Joe
Legal makes too much money and is not eligible
for food stamps or welfare. Joe Legal pays
$500.00 per month for food, or $6,000.00 per
year. Joe Legal now has
$18,031.00.
Jose Illegal has no documented
income and is eligible for food stamps and
welfare. Jose Illegal still has
$31,200.00.
Joe Legal pays rent of
$1,200.00 per month, or $14,400.00 per year. Joe
Legal now has $9,631.00.
Jose Illegal
receives a $500.00 per month federal
rent subsidy. Jose Illegal pays $500.00 per
month, or $6,000.00 per year. Jose Illegal still
has $25,200.00.
Joe Legal pays $200.00 per
month, or $2,400.00 for insurance. Joe Legal now
has $7,231.00.
Jose Illegal says, "We don't
need no stinkin' insurance!" and still has
$25,200.00.
Joe Legal has to make his $9,631.00
stretch to pay utilities, gasoline,
etc.
Jose Illegal has to make his
$25,200.00 stretch to pay utilities, gasoline, and
what he
sends out of the country every
month.
Joe Legal now works overtime
on Saturdays or gets a part time job after
work.
Jose Illegal has nights and weekends
off to enjoy with his family.
Joe
Legal's and Jose Illegal's children both attend the
same school. Joe Legal pays for his
children's lunches while Jose Illegal's
children get a government sponsored lunch. Jose
Illegal's children have an after school ESL
program. Joe Legal's children go home.
Joe Legal
and Jose Illegal both enjoy the same police and
fire services, but Joe paid for them and Jose did
not pay.
If you vote for or support any
politician that supports illegal aliens... You are
part of the problem! I hope you remember this when
you go to vote in 2010. It's way PAST time to take
a stand for America and Americans!
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Green
Tip... |
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When shipping
speed is not required...
When you
order a product on online, consider having it delivered
by the U.S. Postal Service. They are already coming to
your house six days a week so it’s not an extra trip for
them.
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A person of
inspiration... |
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Billy Graham's suit ~
Thanks to Mr. Jim Knudsen
 Billy Graham is now 86 years old with
Parkinson's disease. In January 2000, leaders in
Charlotte, North Carolina, Invited their favorite son,
Billy Graham, to a luncheon in His honor.
Billy initially hesitated to accept the invitation
because he Struggles with Parkinson's disease. But the
Charlotte Leaders said, "We don't expect a major
address. Just Come and let us honor you." So he
agreed.
After wonderful things were said about him, Dr.
Graham Stepped to the rostrum, looked at the crowd, and
said, "I'm reminded today of Albert Einstein, the great
physicist who This month has been honored by Time
magazine as the Man of the Century. Einstein was
once traveling from Princeton on a train when the
conductor came down the Aisle, punching the tickets of
every passenger. When he Came to Einstein,
Einstein reached in his vest pocket. He Couldn't find
his ticket, so he reached in his trouser pockets. It
wasn't there, so he looked in his briefcase but couldn't
find it. Then he looked in the seat beside him. He
still couldn't find it.
The conductor said, "Dr. Einstein, I know who you
are. We all know who you are. I'm sure you bought a
ticket. Don't worry about it." Einstein nodded
appreciatively. The conductor continued Down the aisle
punching tickets. As he was ready to
Move to the
next car, He turned around and saw the great physicist
down on his hands And knees looking under his Seat for
his ticket.
The conductor rushed back and said, "Dr. Einstein,
Dr. Einstein, don't worry, I know who you are. No
problem. You don't need a ticket. I'm sure you bought
one."
Einstein looked at him and said, "Young man, I too,
know who I am. What I don't know is where I'm going.'"
Having said that Billy Graham continued, "See the
suit I'm wearing? It's a brand new suit. My wife,
my children, and my grandchildren are telling me I've
gotten a little slovenly in My old age. I used to be a
bit more fastidious. So I went out and bought a new suit
for this luncheon and one more occasion. You know what
that occasion is? This is the suit in which I'll be
buried. But when you hear I'm dead, I don't want You to
immediately remember the suit I'm wearing. I want you to
remember this: I not only know who I am... I also
know where I'm
going."
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A chuckle or two or even a
gasp... |
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Visiting Grandpa in the Hospital ~
Thanks to Ms. Juanita
Whiteside
A
six year old goes to the hospital with her
grandmother to visit her Grandpa.
When they get to the hospital,
the little girl runs ahead of her Grandma and
bursts into her Grandpa's room...
"Grandpa. Grandpa," she says
excitedly, "As soon as Grandma comes into the room, make
a noise like a frog!"
"What?" said her
Grandpa.
"Make a noise like a frog.
Grandma said as soon as you croak, we're all
going to Disneyland"
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Best Budweiser
Commercial ~ Thanks to Mr. Jim
Knudsen
Clydesdale America
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Bad Economy ~ Thanks to Mr.
Richard Brockett
The economy is
so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the
mail.
It's so
bad, I ordered a burger at McDonalds and the kid
behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with
that?"
The economy is
so bad that CEO's are now playing miniature
golf.
The economy is
so bad if the bank returns your check marked
"Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they
meant you or them.
The economy is
so bad Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher
than GM.
The economy is
so bad McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
The economy is
so bad parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and
learned their children's names.
The economy is
so bad a truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into
Mexico.
The economy is
so bad Dick Cheney took his stockbroker
hunting.
The economy is
so bad Motel Six won't leave the light on
anymore.
The economy is
so bad the Mafia is laying off judges.
The economy is
so bad Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
And
finally...
Congress
says they are looking into this Bernard
Madoff scandal.
Oh Great!! The
guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated
by the people who made $1.5 Trillion
disappear!
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Maxine on the Bail out ~ Thanks to
Mr. Jim Knudsen
Back in 1990,
the Government seized the Mustang Ranch brothel in
Nevada for tax evasion and, as required by law,
tried to run it. They failed within one year and it
closed.
Now we are
trusting the economy of our country, our banking system,
our auto industry and possibly our health plans to the
same nit-wits who couldn't make money running a whore
house and selling whiskey!" |
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Baptist Dinner
for Eight ~ Thanks to Mr. Jim
Knudsen
A group of country
friends from the Cottonwood Baptist Church wanted to get
together on a regular basis to socialize, and play
games. The lady of the house was to prepare the
meal.
When it came time for Al
and Janet to be the hosts, Janet wanted to outdo all the
others. Janet decided to have mushroom-smothered
steak, but, mushrooms are expensive. She then told her
husband, “No mushrooms, they are too high.”
He said, "Why
don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of those
mushrooms? There are plenty in the creek
bed."
She said, "No, some wild
mushrooms are poison."
He said, "Well, I see
varmints eating them and they're OK."
So, Janet decided
to give it a try She picked a bunch, washed,
sliced, and diced them for her smothered steak. Then she
went out on the back porch and gave Ole' Spot (the yard
dog) a double handful.
Ole' Spot ate every
bite. All morning long, Jane t watched Ole' Spot and the
wild mushrooms didn't seem to affect him, so she decided
to use them.
The meal was a great
success, and Janet even hired a helper lady from town to
help her serve. She had on a white apron and a fancy
little cap on her head.
After everyone had
finish ed, they relaxed, socialized, and played Phase 1
0 and Mexican train dominoes. About then, the
helper lady from town, came in and whispered in Janet's
ear, "Mrs Williams, Ole' Spot just died."
Janet went into
hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she called the
doctor and told him what had happened. The doctor said,
"That's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will
call for an ambulance and I will be there as quick as
possible. We'll give everyone enemas and we will pump
out everyone's stomach. Everything will be fine. Just
keep them calm."
Soon they could hear the
siren as the ambulance was coming down the road. The
EMT's and the doctor had suitcases, syringes,20and a
stomach pump.
One by one, they took
each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema, and
pumped out their stomach. After the last one was
finished, the doctor came out and said, "I think
everything will be fine now," then he left.
They were all looking
pretty weak sitting around the living room, and about
this time, the helper lady came in and said, "You know,
that fellow that ran over Ole' Spot never even
stopped."
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Worth a thousand
words... |
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Looking
for a special photo. Got
one?
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Before we say so
long... |
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Before you go,
remember your comments, suggestions, and
contributions are welcome. When you come across
something funny or informative and in good taste,
please send it along. I would love to include
it with your name and
our thanks.
Be sure to tell
your friends about Coffee Break. And if you have
time, explore the other sections of our web
site.
I leave you to
ponder these words a good
friend shared with me:
"The happiest of people don't necessarily have
the best of everything;
they just make the best of
everything that comes along their way."
Carry that
thought with you as you tackle the rest of your
week.
For information
on buying or selling in the bay area,
please call me at 510-429-4800 or send me a
note on the form.
~ Joanne
Joanne L. Gardiner, Broker, e-PRO
Realtor
Advantage Realty
3205
Whipple Road - Union City, California
94587
(510)
429-4800
San Francisco Bay Area
San
Francisco East Bay Real Estate
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