Good with Coffee...  September 2, 2009 Next update October

Time marches.  The clock is ticking.  Don't miss the boat... If you have not owned a home in the past three years, then you qualify to receive $8,000 from the government if you buy a home or mobile home before November 30, 2009.  Don't miss out on this windfall.  Escrows are taking 45 to 60 days.  If you'd like to own a home and get an $8,000 gift from the government, call me today.  I will help you get pre-approved for a loan and I'll find you just the right home. Sears Discount... Fidelity National Home Warranty company has made available through Sears special discounts for my clients and friends of JoanneGardiner.com.  You do not need to have a home warranty on your home or even be buying a home in order to use this discount.  The Sears Discount information is in PDF format.  You will need Adobe Reader. If you do not have it, you may download Adobe Reader free. Your suggestions are welcome.  Take care, Joanne Your San Francisco Bay Area Real Estate Broker... and coffee lover.

You heard it here...

Have a more comfortable house this winter.

Made in the U.S.A. ~ Thanks to Ms. Juanita Whiteside One Light Bulb at a Time A physics teacher in high school, once told the students that while one grasshoper on the railroad tracks wouldn't slow a train very much, a billion of them would.   With that thought in mind, read the following, obviously written by a good American.  Good idea.   One light bulb at a time... Check this out. I can verify this because I was in Lowes the other day for some reason and just for the heck of it I was looking at the hose attachments. They were all made in China... The next day I was in Ace Hardware and just for the heck of it I checked the hose attachments there. They were made in U.S.A. Start looking. In our current economic situation, every little thing we buy or do affects someone else - even their job. So, after reading this email, I think this lady is on the right track. Let's get behind her! My grandson likes Hershey's candy. I noticed, though, that it is marked made in Mexico now. I do not buy it any more. My favorite toothpaste Colgate is made in Mexico now.   I have switched to Crest. You have to read the labels on everything. This past weekend I was at Kroger. I needed 60 W light bulbs and Bounce dryer sheets. I was in the light bulb aisle and right next to the GE brand I normally buy was an off brand labeled, "Everyday Value." I picked up both types of bulbs and compared the stats - they were the same except for the price. The GE bulbs were more money than the Everyday Value brand but the thing that surprised me the most was the fact that GE was made in MEXICO and the Everyday Value brand was made in - get ready for this - the U.S.A. in a company in Cleveland, Ohio. . So throw out the myth that you cannot find products you use every day that are made right here. So on to another aisle - Bounce Dryer Sheets... yep, you guessed it, Bounce cost more money and is made in Canada. The Everyday Value brand was less money and MADE IN THE U.S.A!  I did laundry yesterday and the dryer sheets performed just like the Bounce Free I have been using for years and at almost half the price! My challenge to you is to start reading the labels when you shop for everyday things and see what you can find that is made in the USA - the job you save may be your own or your neighbors! If you accept the challenge, copy and past the into an email to everyone in your address book so we can all start buying American, one light bulb at a time!  Stop buying from overseas companies! (We should have awakened a decade ago...) Let's get with the program...help our fellow Americans keep their jobs and create more jobs here in the U.S.A.

Good insight from an employee inside the CDCR ~ Thanks to Ms. Jill Hadden As a California Dept. of Corrections & Rehabilitation (CDCR) employee, I have had my fill with the statements being made in the media about how the overpaid state employees (prison guards) are draining the state's budget, and how the poor inmates (convicted FELONS) are dropping like flies due to substandard medical care and brutal living conditions. Allow me to cast some light onto these shadowy areas with my ten plus years of insight behind the walls. California spends approximately $50,000 a year to house each  of our 170,000 inmates. Roughly $12,500 of this is on their "substandard" medical care. In contrast, the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs spends about $1,400 per veteran. You read that right. That's nine times more money being spent on convicted felons than on our nation's veterans. Texas, which ranks second in the nation in inmate population, spends about $5,100 a year, per inmate, on health care. In California, if an inmate has a health complaint, he fills out a form and may be subject to a $5 co-pay, unless it is deemed an emergency by health care staff. If that's the case, there is no co-pay and he is seen immediately. If an inmate claims a pain level over a 6 (on a scale from 1 to 10), he must be seen immediately by a registered nurse, and scheduled to see a doctor. I don't recall the last time I heard an inmate claim less than a 6. I don't know about you, but the last time I went to the ER it took me five hours to get in and cost me 50 BUCKS! On the educational front, California ranks 29th in the nation on funding per student, and 49th in "student per teacher" ratio. Over the last two years, $11 BILLION has been cut from education. Add to that more than $5 BILLION in proposed cuts over the next two years. I have friends who have told me that their child's school had to cut the library program due to budget cuts. My own child's school had to cut the music program, although we still have a library. For now. And the few athletic programs we still have are run by volunteer-coaches, as there is no money to pay someone. The prison I work at has several paid coaches, in addition to a "recreational coordinator". There is a staff of who knows how many teachers, while my child's school had to lay-off two. But let us get back to these poor, fragile creatures we lovingly refer to as inmates.  The typical day in an inmate's life consists of being awoken at around 6:45am for chow. They walk to the dining hall, where they are served coffee and/or juice and a FREE balanced breakfast, that would cost my child $2 at school. They sit and eat breakfast, and socialize with their brethren, for about 15-20 minutes, and on the way out receive their free bag lunch. Then, if they have a job, off they go (the average workday for an inmate is about six hours). If they aren't employed, they go back to their housing unit until the yard opens at about 8:30 or so. Once out to yard, they have a myriad of recreational choices in which to indulge. Some inmates play basketball or run the track. Others prefer handball or tennis. Less adventurous fellows may choose to throw around a Frisbee or participate in a game of horseshoes. Some simply lay their blanket out on the grass and sunbathe. There are softball tournaments to compete in for prizes (sodas, ice cream, etc.). This scenario is repeated three times a day for a total of about 8.5 hours of daily recreational opportunity, seven days a week. Wouldn't that be nice?  I have read numerous articles about the state prison guards making outrageous amounts of money in overtime. While it's true that I did make about ten thousand in overtime one year, what isn't known is that I didn't volunteer for a single overtime shift. Due to a hiring freeze and the usual attrition, ALL of my overtime was mandatory because of short staffing. In other words, much like the inmates, I was not allowed to go home after my shift those days. Unlike the inmates, I could not play horseshoes.   Up to this point, I have been "given" three furlough days for a total pay cut of around 15%. That was roughly equivalent to my mortgage payment. I am, however, no longer saddled with that burden as, due to said cuts, the bank has relieved me of that responsibility by taking back my house. The hardest part to swallow is the fact that while I'm losing everything I've worked for, the inmates have not had one program or privilege cut thus far. As a matter of fact, they gain new rights and privileges with every new lawsuit. Speaking of lawsuits, prisoner-initiated lawsuits have cost the state more than $191 million over the past six years. How many homeless veterans would that feed?  I hope I've opened some eyes as to what really goes on inside the walls of California's state prisons. Voters have made themselves heard with the three-strikes law and other get tough on crime issues. The people of this state demand justice when one person takes another's in cold blood. The problem is, once that person is convicted and locked away,  he is portrayed as a victim of the system. Suddenly he is guaranteed rights that neither you nor I enjoy. Like the right to instant medical attention (despite what the media says); for free. The right to three balanced meals a day. The right to their own personal TV and radios. The right to buy Ramen soups or Snickers bars or Dreyer's ice cream. We, as the citizens of this state, need to pull our collective heads out of the sand and see what is going on in this state. We are taking money from our future, our children, to repair the damage these inmates have caused to themselves over a lifetime of drug-abuse and self-neglect. Instead of blaming Corrections staff and other state employees for the budget problems this state faces, let's take a hard look at what we're spending to care for and coddle the inmates in California. I'm not denying that basic medical care is a basic human right, but would you rather spend your $40,000 on a convicted child molester's total knee replacement, or pay a teacher a year's salary to educate 30 of our children?  So, In closing, let me just ask you this. If prison is such a barbaric, inhumane, insufferable place, why do 80% of them come back after their first term?

Meet Butch Lumpkin ~ Thanks to Ms. Linda Jo Bruton Nothing is out of reach for Butch Lumpkin, find out why in this Golf Central Spotlight.  Watch Butch Lumpkin

Green Tips...

Tip to save water...  Save eight to 18 gallons of water per minute by using a broom to clean sidewalks, patios, and driveways. Save 30 to 60 gallons of water each time you water per 1,000 square feet by planting drought-resistant trees and plants. Visit www.saveourH2O.org for more water-saving tips.

A chuckle or two or even a gasp...

Harley Davidson upsets its customers ~ Thanks to Mr. Jim Knudsen In a move bound to upset many Harley owners, the board has agreed to idle north American plants and move production to India. Harley Davidson CEO stated that fans will never be able to tell the difference between the US and India made models. He cited the strong work ethic and adherence to standards in the India manufacturing facility.  Click on the link below to see the slide show presented at the ceremony marking the closure of the last US Harley plant"  http://cs.middlesexcc.edu/%7Emike/HARLEYSOUND.pps  You will need MS PowerPoint to open attachment and Sound.

Out of the mouths of babes ~ Thanks to Ms. Juanita Whiteside A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, "Son, can you tell me where the Post Office is?" The little boy replied, "Sure! Just go straight down this street a couple blocks and turn to your right." The man thanked the boy kindly and said, "I'm the new pastor in town.  I'd like for you to come to church on Sunday. I'll show you how to get to Heaven." The little boy replied with a chuckle. "Awww, come on... you don't even know the way to the Post Office."

Sunday Paper ~ Thanks to Mr. John Lopez "WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?" yelled the irate customer calling the newspaper office  demanding to know where her Sunday edition was. "Madam," said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on SUNDAY." There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition as she was heard to mutter, "Well, shit, so that's why no one was at church today."

A Series of Extended Senior Moments  ~ Thanks to Ms. Barbara Jones $5.37! That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bueno said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Emo hairdo said the harshest thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount." I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said cheerfully. I stood there stupefied. I am 48, not even 50 yet a mere child! Senior citizen? I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Emo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me? I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile. Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler? "Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind.. "Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!" I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing. That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror I had no purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror. Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard. Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle. Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found. I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Emo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?" All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here?" At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits. Emo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake." I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized. She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time." All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast. As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blanky. The good news was I had successfully found my way home.

The Storm ~ Thanks to Ms. Merrilee DeBiaso    They were together in the house.  Just the two of them. It was a cold, dark, stormy night.  The storm had come quickly and each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump. She looked across the room and admired his strong appearance... and wished that he would take her in his arms, comfort her and protect her from the storm. Suddenly, with a pop, the power went out... She screamed... He raced to the sofa where she was cowering. He didn't hesitate to pull her into his arms. He knew this was a forbidden union and expected her to pull back. He was surprised when she didn't resist but instead clung to him. The storm raged on... They knew it was wrong... Their families would never understand...  So consumed were they in their FEAR that they heard no opening of doors...  just the faint click of a camera...

Oxymorons ~ Thanks to Ms. Merrilee DeBiaso Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand? If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing? Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing? Why do "tug" boats push their barges? Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there? Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting? Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"? Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected? Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites? Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things? Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds? If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it? If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right? Why is bra singular and panties plural? Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead? Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase? How come abbreviated is such a long word? Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

Worth a thousand words...

Hoover Dam ~ Thanks to Mr. Richard DeBiaso Taking shape, the new bridge at the Hoover Dam Creeping closer inch by inch – 900ft above the mighty Colorado River – the two sides of a $400 million bridge at the Hoover Dam in America slowly take shape.   The bridge will carry a new section of US Route 93 past the bottleneck of the old road which can be seen twisting and winding around and across the dam itself. When complete, it will provide a new link between the states of  Nevada  and  Arizona  . In an incredible feat of engineering, the road will be supported on the two massive concrete arches which jut out of the rock face. The arches are made up of 53 individual sections – each 24ft long – which have been cast on-site and are being lifted into place using an improvised high-wire crane strung between temporary steel pylons. The arches will eventually measure more than 1,000ft across. At the moment, the structure looks like a traditional suspension bridge. But once the arches are complete, the suspending cables on each side will be removed. Extra vertical columns will then be installed on the arches to carry the road. The bridge has become known as the Hoover Dam bypass, although it is officially called the Mike O'Callaghan-Pat Tillman Memorial Bridge, after a former governor of Nevada and an American Football player from Arizona who joined the US Army and was killed in Afghanistan. Work on the bridge started in 2005 and should finish next year. An estimated 17,000 cars and trucks will cross it every day. The dam was started in 1931 and used enough concrete to build a road from  New York  to  San Francisco  . The stretch of water it created,  Lake Mead  , is 110 miles long and took six years to fill. The original road was opened at the same time as the famous dam in 1936. Click here for more information on the new Hoover Dam project

Before we say so long...

Before you go, remember your comments, suggestions, and contributions are welcome. When you come across something funny or informative and in good taste, please send it along.  I would love to include it with your name and our thanks.  Be sure to tell your friends about Coffee Break. And if you have time, explore the other sections of our web site.  I leave you to ponder these words a good friend shared with me:  "The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything that comes along their way." Carry that thought with you as you tackle the rest of your week.  For information on buying or selling in the bay area, please call me at 510-429-4800 or send me a note on the  form. ~ Joanne Joanne L. Gardiner, Broker, e-PRO Realtor Advantage Realty 3205 Whipple Road - Union City, California 94587 (510) 429-4800 San Francisco Bay Area  San Francisco East Bay Real Estate