Good with Coffee...  March 11, 2009

Happy St Patrick's Day... My goodness, so much is happening every day sometimes my head just spins.  Just think it's almost St. Patrick's Day already!  Yippee!  I love corned beef and cabbage. And, I love the Irish jokes, especially the one liners like this: A friend is someone you can call to help you move. A best friend is someone you can call to help you move a body. Be sure to visit our St. Patrick's Day page and feast your eyes on our St. Patrick's Day Recipes. In my house we're still enjoying soups.  Check out our delicious soup recipes in our Cyber Kitchen or find a project for your kids or grandkids in our Kids Korner.   Our Real Estate News section has timely information for anyone interested in real estate as we agents really experience it. Have you thought about retiring in the San Francisco Bay Area but concerned about the cost of living?  Take a look at Mobile Home Living and Seniors and Retirees, packed with good tips, information and links for seniors. If you're over 55, already own a home, and want to continue to live in it, then check out Reverse Mortgages.  You and California is a must stop if your looking for a job, want to live here, want to know more about the Golden State and the opportunities that are here. Bay Area Interests and Trips and Outings are good, too. In our Veteran's Tribute you can send a note of thanks to the men and women serving in our military.  We also have the new Servicemembers Civil Relief Act  which was enacted in January of this year. Plus there are many other section worth visiting, including Feel Better, sensible tips for everyone.  Refill your coffee cup and scroll the left hand column.  You might just be surprised at all we have for you.  All of us at JoanneGardiner.com are dedicated to adding positive things to your daily life. If you have seen something you think others should know about or something amusing you would like share, please send it to me on the  form or in an email with Coffee Break in the subject line. Share Coffee Break with your friends. Copy and paste this link into an email: http://www.joannegardiner.com/CoffeeBreak.html I invite you to  so you don't miss out on the latest news from the real estate trenches, Coffee Break updates, etc. Take care, Joanne Your San Francisco Bay Area Real Estate Broker... and coffee lover.

You heard it here...

Life Line screening saved my brother's life About three and a half years ago the National Association of Realtors sent me and all its other members an email urging us to have the Life Line screening tests.  Insurance companies do not pay for these screening tests so doctors seldom order them.  I decided it just might be a good idea. So my brother Richard and I signed up. The bottom line is this: Had Richard not been screened by Life Line he would never have known he had an abdominal aortic aneurysm.  It would have continued to grow until it ruptured and that would have meant sudden death. Since Life Line discovered this aneurysm his doctors continued to monitor it. According to Richard's heart doctor Life Line is a well respected screening company.  This past December Richard developed a pain in his side for no apparent reason. He went back to his doctor, who then had an ultra sound done, which showed the aneurysm had grown significantly compared to the earlier report by Life Line.  The doctor then had a cat scan and angiogram done followed by surgery.  Richard is now home recovering.  I urge you all to get screened by Life Line.  It could save your life as it has my brother's. Here is a link to schedule a test date for you and everyone in your family.  You can search for testing locations by zip code: https://apps.llsa.com/signups/?SourceCd=ELTR-495&zipcode=94545  Please, don't put it off, sign up today.  It is painless and affordable. Joanne

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Watch Out for More Facebook-Transmitted Worms   In the computer security industry, it’s a well-known fact that hackers and malware makers tend to go wherever the users go. That means that these days they go to social networking sites like Facebook: in the addition to high traffic, social networking sites offer up a treasure trove of personal information that hackers are constantly looking for new ways to unlock.   According to a recent news report, Facebook dealt with five different security threats in the space of a week. One of the most serious threats is the Koobface worm, which surfaced in two major attacks last year and is now back for more.   Once downloaded, the worm searches for cookies left on the user’s machine by social networks. It uses these cookies to connect to the site and find the user’s friends, and then sends them a message telling them to download a video.   People often click the link to the video because they tend to trust their friends and are too tempted by the promise of entertainment to resist. Of course, what they end up downloading isn’t a video at all — it’s Koobface.   In addition to the Koobface worm, Facebook is also battling four new applications that attempt to get users to reveal their usernames and passwords.   Facebook now has over 175 million users, and more people sign up every day to connect to friends, family, and work colleagues. If you’re one of them (and you probably are), just remember that the same good habits you learned for surfing the Web and handling email apply when you’re on Facebook as well. Keep your security software updated, don’t download unnecessary applications or plugins, and don’t ever trust a suspicious link.

A Home Improvement Project that Saves Big Money on Taxes ~ Thanks to Ms. Pam Winterbauer Tax Credit Available for Insulated Garage Doors in 2009 and 2010 (ARA) - Wouldn't it be nice if adding style, curb appeal and energy efficiency to your home actually saved you money? In 2009 and 2010, it can. Thanks to the new 2009 stimulus legislation, American homeowners can earn up to a $1,500 tax credit for buying qualifying insulated garage doors. The recent stimulus legislation signed by President Obama on Feb..17, extends and significantly increases these tax credits for energy-efficient home improvements. Adding a new garage door in 2009 or 2010 can save homeowners money by not only helping lower energy consumption and costs, but also by paying for itself through the tax credit incentive. A tax credit is more valuable than an equivalent tax deduction because a tax credit reduces tax dollar-for-dollar, while a deduction only decreases the amount of income that is taxed. More details on the tax credit, along with information about garage door styles and local dealer installers, can be found at GarageWowNow.com, a non-commercial Web site. If your home has an attached garage, the room next to the garage is often the coldest room in the winter. Cold air in the winter, and warm air in the summer, can enter the house through the garage, increasing the amount of energy the home needs for heating and cooling. Insulated garage doors not only make a noticeable difference in the temperature of a home, but now can also save you money off the bottom line of your income taxes. The new tax credits are available for qualifying garage door purchases placed in service from Jan.1, 2009, through Dec. 31, 2010. The maximum tax credit that a taxpayer may claim from all qualifying improvements combined is a whopping 30 percent of the cost of each product and $1,500 over the lifetime of the tax credit periods (2009 and 2010). To be eligible for the tax credit:  The door must be an insulated residential garage door, installed on an insulated garage. The door must have a U-factor equal to or less than 0.30, even if the door contains windows. The door perimeter must have a means to control air infiltration. The door must be expected to remain in service for at least five years. The garage must be part of the taxpayer's principal United States residence. In addition to saving money and energy, installing a new garage door also improves a home's appearance and value. The garage can comprise a third or more of your home's front appearance. A new door that is quickly, safely and correctly installed by a local professional will differentiate your home and add style, value and curb appeal. Even in today's tough economic times, replacing your garage door with a new upscale model can boost the resale value of your home. A recent online survey revealed that 71 percent of homeowners who recently replaced their garage door believe it definitely increased the value of their home. To find a professional dealer/installer and the garage door style that's right for you, visit GarageWowNow.com. The site's ZIP code search function will help you find a professional in your area who can install your door in a few hours. The site also features before and after images of new garage doors that have dramatically changed the appearance of homes. Courtesy of  AC

Making Sense of the Stimulus Plans: The California Association of REALTORS® has prepared a comprehensive guide to the housing components of the various federal and state stimulus plans. The summary prepared by the C.A.R. Legal Department covers the various home buyer tax credits; tips for working with Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac regarding short sales; refinancing options through the Making Home Affordable Program; and an explanation of the 90-day foreclosure extension program. You can download the guide by clicking here.

If I had my ife to live over ~ Thanks to Ms. Barbara Jones If I had my life to live over Author: Erma Bombeck  I would have talked less and listened more. I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded. I would have eaten the popcorn in the "GOOD" living room, and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace. I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth. I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed. I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage. I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains. I would have cried and laughed less while watching television, and more while watching life. I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a Holding pattern if I weren't there for the day. I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime. Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment Realizing that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle. When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later.  Now go get washed up for dinner." There would have been more "I love you's" and more "I'm sorry's"  .....but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute.....look at it and really see it ... live it ... and never give it back.   Erma Bombeck (2/21/27- 4/22/96), an American writer, columnist, journalist, and humorist who battled a kidney disease.  She lost the battle after kidney transplant surgery.

Green Tip...

A Good Use For Old Tennis Shoes NIKE RETREADS Nike's Reuse-A-Shoe program turns old athletic shoes (all brands) into playground and athletic flooring. You can participate as an individual or as a group. Individuals may download a mailing label from the Nike Web site and pay the shipping costs, or create a smaller carbon footprint and drop off their shoes at a local collection center. Groups can collect worn-out athletic shoes for their own Reuse-A-Shoe drives and have access to Reuse-A-Shoe marketing materials (posters and flyers) to promote their athletic shoe drive. Nike's Shoe Recycling Program

A chuckle or two or even a gasp...

Landing on the Hudson ~ Thanks to Mr. Clayton Barry Here's a link to an exceptionally well done animation of Sully's water landing in the Hudson...  Very interesting! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imDFSnklB0k

Aging, not so gracefully ~ Thanks to Ms. Juanita Whiteside First you forget names, then you forget faces.  Then you forget to pull up your zipper.  It's worse when you forget to pull it down.

Where did the white man go wrong? ~ Thanks to Ms. Barbara Jones Indian Chief "Two Eagles" was interviewed by a white government official.  "You have observed the white man for 90 years.  You've seen his wars and his technological advances.  You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done." The Chief nodded in agreement. The official continued. "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?" The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then calmly replied. "When white man find land, Indians running it. No taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water, women did all the work, medicine man free, Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing, all night having sex."  The chief leaned back and smiled. "Only white man dumb enough to think he can improve system like that."

IRS humor? ~ Thanks to Mr. Jim Knudsen As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together it spells THEIRS?

A cowboy named Bud ~ Thanks to Ms. Florence Pierson A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?" Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.  Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves." "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.  He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.  Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?" "You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government," says Bud. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew,to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows... this is a Herd of sheep... Now give me back my dog."

Lady's Yearly Exam ~ Thanks to Ms. Florence Pierson   Went to the doctor for my yearly physical.  The nurse starts with certain basics..   "How much do you weigh?" she asks. "135," I say. The nurse put me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 180.  The nurse then asks, "Your height! ?" "5 foot 4," I say. The nurse checked and saw that I only measure 5'2".   She then took my blood pressure and told me it was very high. "Of course it's high," I screamed. "When I came in here I was tall and  slender. Now I'm short and fat!"   She put me on Prozac.

Tequila! ~ Thanks to Mr. Clayton Barry This is the first ad I've seen in which the disclaimer at the end runs as long as the ad itself. Then again, the disclaimer is more entertaining than the ad. See for yourself... It's hilarious! Tequila! <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xN0254u56Mc>

Thanks to Mr. Jim Knudsen This is the one of the best presentations of the sixties that I have ever seen online. It is very well done. Just click on the link and sit back and enjoy the memories. Great photos and facts.   The sixties Complete with music from the 60's

Retirement ~ Thanks to Mr. Jim Ward    I've often been asked, "What do you old folks do now that you're retired?" "Well... I'm fortunate to have a few friends who have chemical engineering backgrounds, and one of the things we enjoy most is turning beer, wine, bourbon, and martinis into urine.  And, we're pretty damn good at it too! "I'm sure looking forward to retirement!"

Worth a thousand words...

What really caused the crash in the Hudson ~ Thanks to Mr. Jim Knudsen This is a real photograph of an atmospheric phenomenon known as a circumhorizon(tal) arc, the example shown above was captured on camera as it hung for about an hour across a several-hundred square mile area of sky above northern Idaho (near the Washington border) on 3 June 2006.    In general, a circumhorizontal arc (or "fire rainbow") appears when the sun is high in the sky (i.e., higher than 58� above the horizon), and its light passes through diaphanous, high-altitude cirrus clouds made up of hexagonal plate crystals. Sunlight entering the crystals' vertical side faces and leaving through their bottom faces is refracted (as through a prism) and separated into an array of visible colors. When the plate crystals in cirrus clouds are aligned optimally (i.e., with their faces parallel to the ground), the resulting display is a brilliant spectrum of colors reminiscent of a rainbow.

Before we say so long...

Before you go, remember your comments, suggestions, and contributions are welcome. When you come across something funny or informative and in good taste, please send it along.  I would love to include it with your name and our thanks.  Be sure to tell your friends about Coffee Break. And if you have time, explore the other sections of our web site.  I leave you to ponder these words a good friend shared with me:  "The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything that comes along their way." Carry that thought with you as you tackle the rest of your week.  For information on buying or selling in the bay area, please call me at 510-429-4800 or send me a note on the  form. ~ Joanne Joanne L. Gardiner, Broker, e-PRO Realtor Advantage Realty 3205 Whipple Road - Union City, California 94587 (510) 429-4800 San Francisco Bay Area  San Francisco East Bay Real Estate