Homes in Hayward ,Hayward real estate ,Manufactured homes,Mobile homes,homes in the San Francisco East Bay,real estate in Hayward CA,mobile homes in the tropics mobile home
 park,Hayward real
 estate, Union City real estate Coffee Break 104
 
Coffee BreakWelcome PageCoffee Break 70Coffee Break 71Coffee Break 72Coffee Break 73Coffee Break 74Coffee Break 75Coffee Break 76Coffee Break 77Coffee Break 78Coffee Break 79Coffee Break 80Coffee Break 81Coffee Break 82Coffee Break 83Coffee Break 84Coffee Break 85Coffee Break 86Coffee Break 87Coffee Break 88Coffee Break 89Coffee Break 90Coffee Break 91Coffee Break 92Coffee Break 93Coffee Break 94Coffee Break 95Coffee Break 96Coffee Break 97Coffee Break 98Coffee Break 99Coffee Break 100Coffee Break 101Coffee Break 102Coffee Break 103Coffee Break 105Coffee Break 106Coffee Break 107Coffee Break 108Coffee Break 109Coffee Break 110Coffee Break 111Coffee Break 112Coffee Break 113Coffee Break 114Coffee Break 115Coffee Break 116

~ Coffee Break ~
May 13, 2007

watering_can.gif


Hi friends, 

First and foremost Happy Mother's Day, dear ladies.  Even if you are not a mother I salute you!  I believe our nurturing  ways coupled with our  intestinal fortitude gears us to always be mothering someone or something, whether that be children, spouses, pets, etc. So, ladies, pat yourselves on the back today.  And, visit my Mother's Day page, a tribute to you and all the other women who grace this earth.

It is time for me to take a break.  This is my last Coffee Break for a few weeks.  While many other brokers are experiencing "too much time on their hands," I am burning the midnight oil for which I am very thankful. 

I hope you enjoy this week's Coffee Break. Keep sending me your goodies for the future updates.  And, while we take a break, look at our past Coffee Breaks.

Remember, your participation is welcome and invited. Send us your jokes, trivia, things to ponder, tips, and noteworthy items. Got a suggestion?   Contact Joanne ... and be sure to tell your friends about Coffee Break.

Take care, stay in touch, and be happy,

Joanne
Your San Francisco Bay Area Real Estate Broker

 

 Pulic Service Announcements ...


roy-beck.jpg 

Meet Roy Beck - America's Best Friend

Click the image at the right to watch a very enlightening video.  If you feel as I do, that immigration policies need to be improved, tell your State Senator.

Find your representative:
http://www.senate.gov/general/contact_information/senators_cfm.cfm

What they're saying about Roy Beck ...

"All sides can learn from Roy Beck" — Business Week

"Always balanced and never strident" — Washington Post

"Compassionate, profoundly moral" — Louisville Courier-Journal

"Roy Beck's gentle tone, sympathetic to native Americans and immigrants alike, is a welcome contrast to the strident approach taken by most commentators on both sides of the immigration issue" — Norman Matloff, professor of computer science, University of California, Davis

"No one has made a better case for immigration reductions" — Foreign Affairs

"Virtually irrefutable" — New York Post

"A populist reminiscent of classic investigative writers such as Upton Sinclair" — Vernon Briggs, labor economist, Cornell University

"Beck documents the way employers have used cheap immigrant labor to slash pay or worsen working conditions in blue collar jobs" — Boston Globe

"Gently and in a distinctly democratic and liberal tone of voice, Roy Beck makes the case for returning immigration to traditional levels" — Jack Miles, 1996 Pulitzer-winning author

"Raises the moral and analytical level of the immigration debate" — Herman E. Daly, ecological economist

Visit Roy Beck's web site:
http://www.numbersusa.com/about/advisors.html


Let Congress know how you feel about immigration issues. Click image:
numbersusa.png

 

 Now, this weeks Goodies ...


Official card ~ Thanks to Mr. Richard DeBiaso

A cocky Colorado Department of Highways employee stopped at a farm and talked with an old farmer. 

He told the farmer, "I need to inspect your farm for a possible new road." 

The old farmer said, "OK, but don't go in that field."
 
The Highways employee said, "I have the authority of the State of Colorado to go where I want. See this card? I am allowed to go wherever I wish on farm land." 

So the old farmer went about his farm chores. Later, he heard loud screams and saw the Department of Highways employee running for the fence and close behind was the farmer's prize bull. The bull was madder than a nest full of hornets and the bull was gaining on the employee at every step. 

The old farmer called out to the state's employee, "Show him your card!!  
 


Tom Rush ~ Thanks to Mr. Jim Knudsen

Very cute song by Tom Rush.  The Remember Song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yN-6PbqAPM

 


Wise Old Indian ~ Thanks to Mr. Tom Bradshaw
 
A few years ago someone browsing through the 40th Anniversary Issue of Reader's Digest (dated Feb. 1962) came across this reprint from the Washington News and found it quite interesting in light of our current debates.

The quote reads:
Vice Presiden t Lyndon Johnson received the following message from a Native American Indian Chief on a reservation: "Be careful with your immigration laws. We were careless with ours. "

 

 


Going to Heaven

Queen Elizabeth & Dolly Parton meet in heaven Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day and they both go before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven.

Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide which of them gets in.

The Angel asks Dolly if there's some particular  reason why she should go to Heaven.

Dolly takes off her top and says, "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and  I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity."

The Angel thanks Dolly, and asks Her Majesty the same question.

The Queen takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, shakes it up, and gargles. Then, she spits into a toilet and pulls the  lever.  Angel says, "OK, your Majesty, you may go  in."

Dolly is outraged and asks, "What was that all about? I show you two of God's own perfect creations and you turn me down.

She spits into a prommode and she gets in!  

 Would you explain that to me?"

"Sorry, Dolly," says the Angel, "but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats a pair - no matter how big theyare."

 


Oxyclean ~ Thanks to Mr. Jim Knudsen

Did you know that Oxi clean is 3% peroxide? 

This was written by Becky of Indiana

"I would like to tell you of the benefits of that plain little old bottle of 3% peroxide you can get for under $1.00 at any drug store. My husband has been in the medical field for over 36 years, and most doctors don't tell you about peroxide, or they would lose thousands of dollars."

1. Take one capful (the little white cap that comes with the bottle) and hold in your mouth for 10 minutes daily, then spit it out. (I do it when I bathe.)

No more canker sores and your teeth will be whiter without expensive pastes. Use it instead of mouthwash. (Small print says mouth wash and gargle right on the bottle.)

2. Let your toothbrushes soak in a cup of "Peroxide" to keep them free of germs.

3. Clean your counters, table tops with peroxide to kill germs and leave a fresh smell. Simply put a little on your dishrag when you wipe, or spray it on the counters.

4. After rinsing off your wooden cutting board, pour peroxide on it to kill salmonella and other bacteria.

5. I had fungus on my feet for years - until I sprayed a 50/50 mixture of peroxide and water on them (especially the toes) every night and let dry

6. Soak any infections or cuts in 3% peroxide for five to ten minutes several times a day. My husband has seen gangrene that would not heal with any medicine, but was healed by soaking in peroxide.

7. Fill a spray bottle with a 50/50 mixture of peroxide and water and keep it in every bathroom to disinfect without harming your septic system like bleach or most other disinfectants will.

8. Tilt your head back and spray into nostrils with your 50/50 mixture whenever you have a cold, or plugged sinuses. It will bubble and help tokill the bacteria. Hold for a few minutes then blow your nose into atissue.

9. If you have a terrible toothache and cannot get to a dentist right away, put a capful of 3% peroxide into your mouth and hold it for ten minutes several times a day. The pain will lessen greatly.

10. And of course, if you like a natural look to your hair, spray the 50/50 solution on your wet hair after a shower and comb it through. You will not have the peroxide burnt blonde hair like the hair dye packages, but more natural highlights if your hair is a light brown, reddish, or dirty blonde. It also lightens gradually so it's not a drastic change. Do be careful with this mixture it will lighten your hair but to much of it will act as a bleach.

11. Put half a bottle of peroxide in your bath to help rid boils, fungus, or other skin infections.

12. You can also add a cup of peroxide instead of bleach to a load of whites in your laundry to whiten them. If there is blood on clothing, pour directly on the soiled spot. Let it sit for a minute, then rub it and rinse with cold water. Repeat if necessary.

13. I use peroxide to clean my mirrors with, and there is no smearing which is why I love it so much for this.

I could go on and on. It is a little brown bottle no home should be without! With prices of most necessities rising, I'm glad there's a way to save tons of money in such a simple, healthy manner.

 


Rear View Mirror ~ Th
anks Ms. Sandra Freitas

redneck-mirror.jpg

 
Fishing Buddies ~ Thanks to Mr. Richard DeBiaso
 
 
Four married guys go fishing.
After an hour, the following conversation took place:
 
First guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing  this weekend.  I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend."
 
Second guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool."
 
Third guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her."
 
They continue to fish when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they asked him."
 
You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. What's the deal?"
 
Fourth guy: "I just set my alarm for 5:30 am.  When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, "Fishing or Sex" and she said, "Wear sun-screen."

 


Smart Kids ~ Thank to Mr. Skip Munson


TEACHER:    Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA:        Here it is.
TEACHER:    Correct. Now class, who discovered  America?
CLASS:        Maria.

TEACHER:    John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN:          You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER:    Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN:         K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"
TEACHER:    No, that's wrong
GLENN:         Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

TEACHER:    Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD:      H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER:    What are you talking about?
DONALD :     Yesterday you said it's H to O.

TEACHER:    Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we
didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE:       Me!

TEACHER:    Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN:          Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER:    Millie, give me a sentence starting with I."
MILLIE:        I is...
TEACHER:    No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE:        All right...  "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

TEACHER:    George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father
didn't punish him?
LOUIS:         Because George still had the ax in his hand.

TEACHER:    Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON:        No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER:    Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's.  Did you copy his?
CLYDE:         No, teacher, it's the same dog.

TEACHER:     Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD:       A teacher.

 


Twins ~ Thanks to Ms. Florence Pierson

The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came running up to me in the Driveway just jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was jumping for joy But I thought, what the heck, and I starting jumping up and down along With her. She said, "I have some really great news!"

I said, "Great. Tell me why you're so happy."

She stopped jumping and, breathing heavily from all the jumping up and Down, told me that she was pregnant! I knew that she had been trying For a while so I told her, "That's great! I couldn't be happier for you!"

Then she said, "There's more."

I asked, "What do you mean 'more'?"

She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby. We are going to
Have TWINS!"

Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew. She said...

(You're going to love this!)

"Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and they actually had a home pregnancy kit in a twin-pack. Both tests came out positive!

 

 


Bambi and Thumper ~ Thanks to Mr. Jim Knudsen

Two of the world's most renowned shy and timid creatures have found each other in safe  companionship. Taken through the lens of Tanja Askan, Alberta Canada.

bambi-thumper.png

 

 


Little Johnny ~ Thanks to Ms. Florence Pierson

A grade school teacher in Kentucky asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my granddad's farm and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."

The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word fascinate, not fascinating."

Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated."

The teacher said, "Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate.”

Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by little Johnny before.

She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate", so she called on him.

Johnny said, "My aunt Peggy has a sweater with ten buttons, but her boobs are so big she can only fasten eight."
 
The teacher sat down and cried.
 
 
Picture of the Week  ~ Thanks to Mr. Jim Knudsen


Soap Carvings

soap-carvings.png

More Soap Carvings

soap-carvings2.png

 

 


Before you go, remember your comments, suggestions, and contributions are always welcome. When you come across something funny or informative and in good taste, please send it along.  I would love to include it with your name and our thanks. 

I leave you to ponder what a good friend of mine shared with me: 

"The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
they just make the best of everything that comes along their way."

Make it a good week, be happy and and come back soon.

Joanne


Joanne L. Gardiner, Broker
e-PRO Realtorฎ

Advantage Realty
Clock Tower Commerce Center
3205 Whipple Road
Union City, California 94587

(510) 429-4800


Our primary services in the San Francisco Bay Area are:
East bay real estate,  Hayward real estate, Castro Valley real estate,  Danville real estate, Dublin real estate, Fremont real estate,  Newark real estate, Niles real estate, Pleasanton real estate, San Leandro real estate, San Lorenzo real estate, San Ramon real estate, Sunol real estate and Union City real estate. Peninsula real estate, Palo Alto real estate, Foster City real estate, San Mateo real estate, San Carlos real estate, Burlingame real estate, Belmont real estate, Half Moon Bay real estate

Types of real estate in which we specialize:  houses, condominiums, townhomes, garden homes, PUDs, single family homes, mobile homes, module homes, duets, residential income property, duplexes, tri-plexes, four-plexes, small apartment complexes and special use properties.

 

 

top of page

 

Coffee Break | Welcome | Coffee Break 70 | Coffee Break 71 | Coffee Break 72 | Coffee Break 73 | Coffee Break 74 | Coffee Break 75 | Coffee Break 76 | Coffee Break 77 | Coffee Break 78 | Coffee Break 79 | Coffee Break 80 | Coffee Break 81 | Coffee Break 82 | Coffee Break 83 | Coffee Break 84 | Coffee Break 85 | Coffee Break 86 | Coffee Break 87 | Coffee Break 88 | Coffee Break 89 | Coffee Break 90 | Coffee Break 91 | Coffee Break 92 | Coffee Break 93 | Coffee Break 94 | Coffee Break 95 | Coffee Break 96 | Coffee Break 97 | Coffee Break 98 | Coffee Break 99 | Coffee Break 100 | Coffee Break 101 | Coffee Break 102 | Coffee Break 103 | Coffee Break 105 | Coffee Break 106 | Coffee Break 107 | Coffee Break 108 | Coffee Break 109 | Coffee Break 110 | Coffee Break 111 | Coffee Break 112 | Coffee Break 113 | Coffee Break 114 | Coffee Break 115 | Coffee Break 116